Lynnette has steady hands; someone can't sit stil.
*I got home from a softball game last night and heard shouting in the bedroom. This is not unusual. Most times, Madison demands something. Generally, if Lynnette or I raise our voices, it’s because Madison is doing something she’s not supposed to do. Last night, I walked slowly up the stairs because my body was already beginning to tighten up. I made it to the top of the staircase and heard Lynnette say “Madison, sit- no!” I was curious.
When I walked into the bedroom, I saw both of my girls sitting on the bed. Lynnette was in the middle of painting Madison’s toenails, and Madison was trying her best to sit still. Obviously, her best wasn’t good enough. It must be hard for Lynnette to do something like this. She’s a perfectionist when it comes to things of this nature and Madison is the biggest x-factor I’ve ever had to deal with in my entire life. Lynnette had one of Madison’s fat little feet in her left hand and held the polish brush in her right. Just like a real salon, Madison’s eyes were glued to the tv set. When something on her “Timmy Time” show made her laugh, she’d giggle and squirm, frustrating Lynnette. As I watched this whole thing go down, I didn’t laugh because that would only have served to irritate Lynnette further, and I still had plans of sleeping in my own bed.
Literally watching paint dry.
I hopped in the shower and when I came out, Lynnette was putting the finishing touches on Madison’s toes. We purchased these little cherry sticker deals over the weekend. Madison’s eyes widened as Lynnette pulled out tweezers (perfectionist, I told you) to apply the stickers on Madison’s big toes. I guess the excitement was a little too much for the Goob – her tiny fat feet moved a little. This brought out drill sergeant Lynnette again. I slowly lowered myself onto the bed and slithered across the top half of it. There was no way I was going to have anything to do with those cherries being even a quarter of a millimeter of an inch off.
“Done!” Lynnette said. Madison’s first instinct was to scoot up towards her usual spot. “No!” Lynnette shouted. Madison froze. “Don’t move!” Madison sat at near the edge of the bed, alternating between watching her tv show and watching her toenails dry. Minutes passed. “Mommy, are my toes done?” “Why, where you going?” “But are my toes done?” “Why where you going?” “Are my toes done, mommy?” “Why, where you going?” “STOP SAYING THAT TO ME, MOMMY!” “Are my toes done?” “Yeah, sure.” And with that, Madison popped up and moved her way up to the head of the bed.
I suppose I don’t really care about toenail polish and fruit-shaped adhesives. I made jokes about needing a gun and questioning the morality of the inventors of such products. Part of me doesn’t know how to react to Madison getting superficial cosmetic upgrades. It bothers me, I guess, because some part of me feels like this is a baby step towards other, more dramatic things that I don’t understand like foundation, eye shadow, and bras. But, I suppose there lies the chance I am simply ignorant. I never had sisters, so I don’t know. Maybe getting one’s toenail’s painted and having cherry stickers applied on top of it are simply rites of passage for girls. Lynnette seems fine with it, so I suppose I’ll go with her judgment. Who knows. Maybe what Lynnette did yesterday was the equivalent of me giving my hypothetical son a Mets temporary tattoo. I suspect it isn’t, but what can I do?
Tiny Wings get pretty competitive in our house.
*Lynnette stared playing Tiny Wings on her iPhone. The point of the game is to guide and slide a tiny bird up and down cliffs and between islands. Yeah, it’s not for me, either. Anyway, Madison loves to watch Lynnette play this game. In truth, Madison doesn’t simply watch Lynnette play, she whoops it up and makes noise while Lynnette plays. Last night, Lynnette was locked in intense concentration while Madison shouted “Ha!” every time the little guy shot out into the air. This prompted Lynnette to shout “You’re jinxing me!” Yes, to a three-year old. I laughed out loud.
“My turn, mom!” Lynnette handed over the phone to Madison. Madison pulled her thumb out of her mouth and goo’d up the phone. “Look, dad, she’s making my phone all wet!” Lynnette said. There was a good amount of spittle on the screen. “Wipe your thumb!” Lynnette said. Madison held her thumb out and looked around for something to wipe it on. “Wipe it on your shirt!” Lynnette said. “No!” Madison replied. She wiped it on Lynnette’s shirt. Hahahahahhahahahahahaha.
Lynnette and Madison passed the phone between each other and alternated turns on Tiny Wings. “This a good game, mom, I like it!” “I like it too, and I’d like it more if you played it less,” Lynnette said. I popped my earphone out (I was watching Raw in my phone) and looked at Lynnette. I thought she was mad (she wasn’t). I looked at Mad, she was looking at Lynnette, probably wondering about the same thing. Our eyes met. I winked at Goob and she smiled. We left mom alone for a little bit. She can get competitive.
