*As mentioned in this space yesterday, I have a pimple hanging out on my forehead. It is the malicious type. When I got up this morning and gave it a look in the mirror, it slightly resembled the Great Eye in The Lord of the Rings films. While it hasn’t reached The Head (left) proportions, sometime yesterday afternoon it did gain self-awareness, similar to SkyNet. By last night, it was speaking to me. This morning, it asked if it could say a few things in this blog entry. I debated the whole idea before finally acquiescing to the pimple’s request. The following are his remarks:
First and foremost, I would like to thank Philp for allowing me this space to air my thoughts. Despite the positive connotation that self-awareness carries, I have found that it has brought me nothing but melancholy. I realize, for example, that I am completely dependent upon Philp to log my thoughts since I lack the means to type. My development has followed a similar trajectory to that of Frankenstein’s monster in that the more I learn about myself and my place in this world, the less satisfied I become with my feeble and fleeting existence. I am sure, for example, that Philp has already figured out how he is going to wipe me off the face of his face. When he positions himself in front of the mirror, I am witness to the malicious looks he sends in my direction. I realize I am not long for this world. For I am so ripe that should Philp wink, I might explode. I will simply have to enjoy my remaining moments of existence and take solace in the fact that my very being has created an existential dilemma for my dear host. Though he has not articulated these thoughts out loud, I am certain that he has begun to question the effectiveness of both his expensive skin care products and the time he takes in applying these topical substances. The very nature of my existence has broken his faith in the Clinique system, and I suppose that will have to do. Regards, Pimple
*Since we’re talking about Oddities, how ’bout them Mets? As of this writing, the Amazin’s are 4-0 and alone atop the National League East. The Mets had not trailed at any point during the first three games of the season against the Atlanta Braves. The were forced, however, to play from behind against the Washington Nationals yesterday at Citi Field.
Down 3-1, rookie Kirk Nieuwenhuis hit his first Major League Homerun – a two-run shot – to tie the game at 3. It would stay locked that way until the bottom of the 9th inning when Daniel Murphy (left) drove in Mike Baxter with a walk-off single. Murphy’s hit followed his own stellar defensive play in the top of the 9th which say him dive for a ball behind the second base bag and flip the ball to Ruben Tejada for the force out to end the inning.
Yes, I realize that it is just a four game stretch to start a season in which the Mets must play 158 more. Yes, I understand that this hot start is likely not indicative of the way the team will perform over the remainder of the season. I am a Mets fan. I am not used to prosperity. But I will take this. I expected nothing of this team prior to the season. Obviously, if you told me the Mets would begin the season 4-0, I would have taken it in an instant.
I’ve been spamming my Facebook page with Mets stuff and I’m not even worried about jinxing this run. They’ll fall eventually – likely sooner rather than later – and I’m ready for it. But there’s no rule against enjoying first place while it lasts. And by “enjoying” I mean “rubbing it in people’s faces.” Mets in 2012!
*And somehow – even among sentient pimples and the first place New York Mets – something even crazier happened: Madison slept in her own bed last night. Madison’s primary concern is that she will be left alone while Lynnette and I have each other. Logically, I suppose this makes sense: it appears hypocritical to tell her that she has to sleep alone in her own bed while mom and dad don’t have to. Anyway, there’s no really trick. A few months ago, we told Madison that when she turned 4, she would have to sleep in her own room. We didn’t just spring it on her. I assume that tying this move to her birthdate gave it an added significance – at least in her mind. It was completely arbitrary on our part. She was willing on Sunday night, but couldn’t fall asleep. Last night, Lynnette set up a comforter, pillows, and a blanket next to Madison’s bed and laid there until she fell asleep. The first time Lynnette tried to escape the room without waking Madison, she made it into the bedroom before Madison said from her room “Mom, where are you?” “Just using the bathroom!” Lynnette said before heading back. Eventually, Lynnette came back for a few hours. Madison stirred in the early morning, and Lynnette went back to rest with her until she fell asleep again.
I’m not going to even pretend that I had anything to do with this. It was all Lynnette. I told her after the first failed attempt to leave the room that she could bring Madison back with her, that she deserved to sleep in her own bed. “No,” she said. “I got it.” And she did. My wife has done many amazing things since we’ve been together. She’s introduced me to sushi, bought me shoes, made me delicious meals consistently. Also, she pushed our daughter out of her body. Last night, though, was truly amazing. Even if this whole Madison-sleeping-in-her-own-room-thing comes apart over the next few nights, that still won’t change the fact that Lynnette is in the front-running for Mom of the Year. There doesn’t appear to be a second.