Father’s Day brings with it one of my absolute favorite family traditions: Madison’s answers to Lynnette’s Father’s Day Questionnaire:
First of all, this is the first year I read this sheet and didn’t hear it in a child’s voice. I heard it in Madison’s tweener voice and so the word “daddy” sounded especially strange. She usually just calls me “dad” or “DAAAAAD!”. Anyway, let’s get to the answers.
I’m going to assume “Big Mac” was just easier to articulate than “Double Quarter with Cheese” and it’s not even right. Now and always, the correct answer is sushi. My first laugh came with the commentary on my affinity for aloha shirts, which, I mean, is just … The French bread pizza answer got a chuckle out of me because just this past week Mad’s started eating them which means LESS FRENCH BREAD PIZZA FOR ME. While this is not as bad as living in the same house as Matty, I am afraid that’s where we’re headed.
But it’s the next two: “My Daddy works hard at Pokemon-ing” and “Daddy always tells me “Where’s Avery?” that absolutely obliterated me. I spent 3 hours playing Pokemon Go yesterday. Those three hours included walking from the zoo to the Fort DeRussy and back twice, just to cash in on a special event. That wasn’t even the worst part! I ran into a college friend on the way to pay for my parking. We were both kidless and it was obvious she was going surfing, but when she asked me what I was doing I opened my mouth and realized I didn’t have any of the kids with me. So I said, “I, uh, I still play Pokemon Go and I’m here for an event.” Believe me, it sounded way worse in real life. Ugh.
“Where’s Avery?” is a question I ask between 3 and 80 times a day. If things are too quiet, that means Avery is getting into something she shouldn’t be. I ask “Where’s Avery?” as I look up from my phone; finish folding laundry; put the last of the dishes in the dish rack; when I come out of the bathroom; wake up from a nap; and finish preparing the twins’ meals. The answers to “Where’s Avery?” have ranged (so far this summer) from “in the tub” to “in the sink” to “in the dishwasher” to “pulling all your boxers out of the drawer” to “looking out the window” to “SHE GOT INTO MY ROOM AND OPENED UP MY SLIME!” to “she put herself down for nap”. The second to the last is the worst so far and the last is always the best.
Usually we have lunch with Lynnette’s side of the family but this year they scheduled dinner. That meant we had the chance for lunch at my parents’ house.
Pictures like this one here always mystify me. Even after all this time, it seems surreal. It’s the house I grew up in, but it doesn’t look the same at all, just like it’s still my dad and I but just look at these kids. My entire family (including Lynnette!) wore dry-fit shirts in my honor today and I knew my dad would be, too. We got him a gray sleeveless dry-fit shirt because that’s what he likes to wear. We also got him some peanut M&Ms which he immediately shared with Cole and Avery because that’s what he likes to do. And incredibly, we snapped this picture with everyone looking and Madison not doing some weird thing with her feet like she always does. My dad never feels this much taller than me, but I guess he is. Maybe it’s a combination of the lighting, angle, and slippers.
Coach Al tried for a very long time to teach me how to hit a baseball, but it didn’t take. He also spent my entire life quietly teaching me what it takes to be a reliable husband and father. I like to think those lessons stuck.