The Cowboys Overrun, a Target Run, and a Run on Fairy Costumes

This was just a dreadful, dreadful weekend for football. My high school alma mater got blown up on Friday, I think I might have already mentioned that USC ruined my parlay Saturday afternoon, and the final piece of the puzzle was the stinker turned in by Dallas earlier today, though in truth, that’s not being fair to the Seahawks who dominated the game.

Had I known the Cowboys would get beat up like that, I would have just cruised pool with Mad.

Props to my mom for taking on the “Person who irritates Mad while she’s in the pool” role usually played by me.

We got to my parents’ house at 9:30, much earlier than usual because the Cowboys game was scheduled to start at 10:05. I called my dad early this morning to make sure we were welcomed for lunch. He only wanted to know if Madison wanted to swim. I gave the phone to her and this is how the conversation went (just on one side, since I could only hear the Goob.

“Hi, Grandpa. What’s for lunch?”

“Oh, okay.”

“Do I want to go swimming? I think so.”

“Here, you talk to dad”

She handed me the phone while informing me that Grandpa was going to pull out the pool for her. That’s all she needed to know, I guess. I had planned to take a dip with Mad. I wore boardshorts sans underwear and everything. I felt morally obligated to watch the Cowboys game, though. Wrong move. I should have hoped in the pool with Madison. I mean it’s not like the whole game would have been over by the time I popped back into the living room. I should jumped in with Mad, shot her with the max liquidator a few times, then dried off just in time for lunch and the second half. I will try very hard to not let this happen again.

Mad sure is going to be disappointed when Matty and Tanz have a kid of their own.

Lynnette, Madison and I went to Target with Matty and Tanya, Paul and my mom. We left before the Cowboys game ended. It was my form of protest since what I really wanted to do – punch Golden Tate in the face – seemed both impossible and unfeasible. Madison had the great idea of “boys car” and “girls car.” Matty drove Paul and I while Lynnette drove my mom, Tanya, and Madison. “We beat you!” Madison shouted when she saw us outside of Target, even though we had been waiting around out front for a few minutes before the four of them emerged from the parking structure. Not only does Madison look like Lynnette, but she apparently utilizes the same kind of logic at times. Not good.

Walking around Target in boardshorts wasn’t pleasant. “I no more bebs,” I said to Lynnette. “That’s not my problem,” she said. Among other things, Lynnette is a compassionate partner.

I think Mad would be pissed if I tried to explain to her that this was Tinkerbell, too.

Aside: Lynnette and I bought Mad a Tinkerbell costume from Target today. Lynnette and I have now purchased 2 separate Tinkerbell costumes in addition to two separate components for a homemade Tinkerbell costume. Let me explain: We went to the Disney Store 3 weeks ago and saw the costume there for $30 with the wings going for another $34 or something like that. Lynnette doesn’t swear often, but she might have dropped an “f-bomb that” when she saw the tags. We then resolved to make a Tinkerbell costume for Mad. Okay, Lynnette resolved to. I simply agreed dropping $65 on a 4-year old’s halloween costume wasn’t a good idea. So Lynnette, empowered by Pinterest, started looking around for pieces of this Tinkerbell costume that she was going to construct. We found a cheap pair of wings at Gymboree (I think I already wrote this) and Lynnette was able to order a green leotard. But that’s it. So earlier in the week we picked up a Tinkerbell Costume for $25. So we figured that plus the wings. Well, today, we saw a Tinkerbell costume at Target with wings for $30, cheaper than the other options. Oh, it’s true, we’ll probably find a better deal next weekend, but that’s fine, because the lesson: There’s no such thing as “buyer’s remorse” if you just buy everything and return everything except the one thing you’re going to keep.


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