Our purchase of that new entertainment center thing started a chain reaction of sorts in our house. We spent Friday evening moving one of the bookshelves out from the computer room into the living room. We were selective about which titles should make the cut for this bookshelf. It’s not like we have company over often, but you never know. Works fit for the living room bookshelf: all the cookbooks, all of my books about baseball and other sports, all my Gladwell titles, all my Klosterman titles, Lynnette’s Harry Potter novels, that one series about vampires that I can’t remember the name of, and all of her softcore pornography masquerading as novels. Congrats, guys. You’re all on the First Team.
I can’t quite recall for sure, but I want to say that we’ve hit up three different malls over three straight weekends, and each of them were having sidewalk sales. That’s got to be a plan-job, right? Anyway, we went to Kahala Mall today instead of some kind of New Year’s thing in Chinatown because Lynnette didn’t want me to be around “the kind I like.” The only things we ended up purchasing were some decorative items for Madison’s bathroom and two bags of candy from that store that sells loose candy. It’s the devil. Initially, I went there to have Madison pick out a few snacks. Then Lynnette mentioned the chocolate-covered gummy bears, which are one of my weaknesses – right up there with Asian women, diminished lung capacity, sales on shoes, and fastballs on the inside corner.
We ended up purchasing $4 worth of chocolate-covered gummy bears. Lynnette ate over half of them before we got out of the parking garage. I wasn’t too bummed out, though, because I basically tried to poison myself with hamachi at Kuru Kuru. It didn’t work, but that doesn’t mean that I will not try it again at a later date, because obviously I will. Let’s go ahead and add “sushi,” “gluttony,” and “fat” to that list of weaknesses.
I tried to seduce Lynnette into a cuddling session this afternoon, but it didn’t work out. She was more interested in actually sleeping than moderately-physical cuddling on a Saturday afternoon. When I made my move – the cuddling equivalent of Hakeem Olajuwon’s Dream Shake or Kareem Abdul Jabbar’s Sky Hook – Lynnette had juuuuuust fallen asleep and she reacted to my post moves like she was the erstwhile Ron Artest and someone had just lobbed a drink in her general direction. “I’M GETTING UP ALREADY!” she said before storming out of the bedroom. I took a nap.
When I came to, Lynnette was putting the finishing touches on a tea party dinner for Madison. There were no floppy hats involved, only finger foods. Lynnette’s elegant presentation is a sharp contrast to my pragmatic “just-get-it-on-the-plate” methods. I ate all the grilled cheese sandwich triangles and tomato-basil soup I could handle. All I had to do was wash the dishes once dinner ended. That’s a deal I’ll make 11 times out of 10.
Lynnette’s watching Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives. Madison’s running around the living room playing with some of her toys. I’m writing. In about 20 minutes when I finish writing this entry, we’ll take turns bathing, then get ready for bed. Lynnette and Madison have been watching season 2 of Glee on Netflix, but I’m ready for something different. The hard part is that the kind of movie I want to watch, usually full of violence and/or profuse vulgarity, is impossible to watch when Madison is around. I usually just wave the “whatever you guys want” white flag and have to sit through a movie or show which is at least 40% singing. I guess what I’m asking for is an animated show in which the complex adult characters fight, have sex, and deal with problems in a believable manner while expressing themselves via song at key moments. That way, Madison, I, and Lynnette win.