I gotta be honest: I don’t have much of anything to write about.
I bought Matty a Red Sox license plate frame for his birthday. While checking out at Lids, the clerk asked if I would like to join the Lids Club for a year. Now, ordinarily I would have said “No, thank you,” but because the Mets are rocking this gem for batting practice this year, I joined without hesitation. I will purchase this cap and perhaps the new alternate in time for the start of the season. Joining the Lids Club has given me the psychological justification needed to make these purchases. I will not be able to tell my wife “But babe, I’m getting a discount on them!” She will, of course, roll her eyes as if she is by a demon possessed, but I’m okay with that. Remember, after her performance while watching Maryknoll in the State Championship basketball game, I am free and clear to be a fan of my team. So long, I think, as I do not cup her buns and claim I am doing so in the name of starting a rally.
Such a purchase as the ones described above may have a steep consequence. Lynnette tagged me in an Instagram photo yesterday. When I checked it out, it was picture from Fighting Eel’s IG account. Apparently, there is a dress named “Higa.” Lynnette’s comment read “How could you not?” Now, obviously, I wouldn’t be the one to wear said dress, but Lynnette has been a Fighting Eel fan dating back to the days when we had disposable income. Perhaps the purchase of my beloved Mets caps would then free up Lynnette to purchase a Higa Dress (probably in heather grey, but would go hope for the yellow). I already the conversation would go something like this:
Me: When they make a “Dress Pascua,” you can get it.
Lynnette: But I’m a Higa now.
Me: When do you want to go to the Fighting Eel store?
I am not sure Lynnette will ever acquire this dress, but I am positive she would be stunning in it. It kind of has the smell of destiny, you know? Like the Mets caps. How could I not?
In a little over a week, I’ll be on Spring Break. Madison doesn’t have one this school year. “What am I going to do with myself?” I wondered out loud yesterday. “Clean. The computer room,” Lynnette said, about .000043 seconds after I completed what I had thought was a rhetorical question. And like that, a grey cloud of domestic duty cast a pall over what had been blue skies of irresponsibility.
Speaking of blue, Lynnette and I will probably spend some time that week making it appear as if Pinterest threw up all over that bathroom. She and I have long wanted to dress up the non-master bathroom to look beachy. Madison calls this bathroom “daddy’s bathroom” because I am the only one who currently uses it. Little does she know that it’ll be her bathroom some day.
“Mad,” I said. “Will you help us paint the bathroom?” “Yeah, yeah,” she said in that way she does when she’s excited. “Well, mom and I were thinking about this light blue-” “I don’t like that,” she said, cutting me off. Lynnette smirked. “Well, what do you like?” “How about gold?” she said. I tried to explain to her that gold probably wouldn’t work. She lobbied for her choice hard. She did everything but claim that Abby likes gold, too. I tried to talk her down from gold to “sand,” but I don’t know how she’ll feel about that. I’ll try to take some before/during/after pics, you know, if we really get around to it.
Happy Friday, everyone!