Date Day and Bathroom Painting

The Nakagusuku Softball game got cancelled today. Our Wrecking Crew game will probably wiped out tomorrow if the weather keeps this nonsense up. I really hope that doesn’t happen. At the very least, I can watch Monday Night Raw without being afraid of going to bed too late. It’s Spring Break, baby. I leave for Mexico tomorrow night.

Oh, the excitement of Date Day!

Oh, the excitement of Date Day!

It was a good thing Costco carried these, what with all the hot flames of passion coming off of Date Day.

It was a good thing Costco carried these, what with all the hot flames of passion coming off of Date Day.

Okay, I’m not going to Mexico. In fact, this might be the lamest Spring Break since last Spring Break. Lynnette and I left Madison with my parents this afternoon in order to tackle a Costco run.

I reached for Lynnette’s hand in the parking lot as we walked towards the warehouse. “I’m so glad to be out with you on a date!” I said. “It’s been so long.” “This is not a date!” Lynnette said. She loosed herself from my hand quickly. “What are you talking about? There’s food right over there and movies playing on the TVs in there,” I said, waving my arms around in the general direction of the warehouse. “This is running errands,” she said. I was somewhat upset. “If that’s all you want it to be,” I said. I kissed her cheek. She scoffed. “Don’t ruin Date Day,” I said. We haven’t been on a date in a really long time. I was really anxious that the rain or Lynnette’s bad mood or the Sunday Costco crowd would sully Date Day.

"Hey look, batting gloves!"

“Hey look, batting gloves!”

"Wow, who knew Costco carried batting gloves?"

“Wow, who knew Costco carried batting gloves?”

I changed out Lynnette’s car battery after work on Friday. I was tired and I hadn’t eaten anything all day. I was grouchy. It might have been because I simply didn’t want Lynnette to bother me all evening, but I looked up how to change a battery. I actually did it. I can feel some extra testosterone coursing through my testicles as I type this. Sadly, I didn’t have safety gloves of any kind, so I sacrificed the oldest pair of batting gloves I owned. They were also my favorite. Lynnette couldn’t understand why I would do this, I couldn’t either, really, but I did feel about 3% safer with the Under Armour pair on. So I had that going for me. Now that they’ve got all kinds of acid crap on them, they’re resting peacefully in the trashcan in the garage. Rest in peace, yo.

Anyway, Lynnette pointed out every pair of gloves in Costo, including golf gloves. “I want to punch you right now,” I said. “You can’t be mad at me, it’s Date Day,” Lynnette said. “It is Date Day!” I said. She shot me a small smirk. She made my day. Maybe she just accepted the fact that a Madison-less Costco trip was probably the closest we were going to get to a date for a while. Either way, cruising with her down the aisles of Costco and fantasizing about installing half the items in the warehouse into our home was awesome, even if short-lived.

I refuse to take a selfie.

I refuse to take a selfie.

Blue Tape Duty.

“Philip! You better not be taking pictures of my crack!”

Madison does not have a Spring Break, and Lynnette will have to work as usual this week. I will be left home alone with Abby. My first mission is painting the bathroom. Lynnette’s already laid the groundwork by taping up the edges of the bathroom. I will attempt to acquire another stamp for my Man Card by painting the bathroom without assistance, and hopefully without painting any surfaces which are not meant for painting. I am horrible at this kind of crap. I am thrilled I will be alone, since I can say it only took me 45 minutes when it will likely take me three hours or more to finish.

There’s an even-odds chance that Abby will greet Madison and Lynnette with a coat of paint in her coat of hair. I really just want to get it right. I can’t stand it when I screw up and Lynnette holds it over my head. Who knows? If you’re in the neighborhood and want to either help me paint or want to watch me and laugh, let me know. The only thing you aren’t allowed to do is not help, then tell me how to do it while I do it. I already have Lynnette for that. You can’t be mad at me, Lynnette! It’s Date Day!

Let’s do this, Spring Break!


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