Lynnette Higa, The Executive

I made the admittedly myopic decision to half-ass my stretching before my game yesterday. The result is that my legs – in particular my quads and hamstrings – are stiff. Like I-have-to-walk-around-campus-awkwardly stiff. Not good. It’s raining pretty hard right now. The drops are falling quickly and at a diagonal angle which assures that water will be tracked into my classroom at the start of next period. Also, not good. On the bright side, I suppose that a rain out of tonight’s game would save me the embarrassment of having to play at less than 100%, which, it should be noted, is about 20% of what was 100% five or six years ago. Hooray for math. Something about fractions.

Well, there’s been a little fallout from last week’s personality test experiment. As noted over the weekend, Lynnette has also taken a test, and her results came out as ENTJ, which means Extroverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging. I can’t speak for the first three terms, but the last is dead-on. Kidding! (Kind of). The same website that dubbed me a “Thinker” labels Lynnette’s personality type as “The Executive.” Shocker. While I am reticent to speak ill of my wife without giving her the chance to defend herself, I figured I’d run the same process out for her. I’ll list a few descriptors as given by the site, then comment on them based on my (absolutely wonderful) experiences with Lynnette. Let me preface what I am going to say next by saying that I love Lynnette unconditionally. Also, truth is always stranger than fiction.

She couldn't decide so she bought all of them.

She couldn’t decide so she bought all of them.

1. ENTJs are natural born leaders. They live in a world of possibilities where they see all sorts challenges to be surmounted, and they want to be the ones responsible for surmounting them. They have a drive for leadership, which is well-served by their quickness to grasp complexities, their ability to absorb a large amount of impersonal information, and their quick and decisive judgments. They are “take charge” people. This is absolutely true. Lynnette is the kind of leader I could never be. I guess I tend to outline plans, but Lynnette is systematic in her approach to coordination. She as already printed up a chart for our California vacation and has come up with multiple scenarios involving crowd sizes, time, and financial considerations. It’s essentially Danny Tanner’s Clipboard of Fun, for you Full House fans. Seriously, though, I marvel at Lynnette whenever I see her in her element. Whenever she’s a nurse, it’s like she becomes another person. She’s decisive (unlike shopping decisions) and assertive (unlike when driving) and exudes confidence. It was one of the things that drew me to her in the first place. I suppose that these things can be said about anyone behaving in their natural element, but it’s different for me. I probably won’t save a life or help someone medically by going on about OPS or ERA, or even first-person narration. Two weeks ago, a player on another team jammed his finger and it stopped the game. I called out for Lynnette and she descended onto the field and took a look at the guy’s hand and gave him a likely diagnosis in a minute, then told him how to treat it. I patted her on the butt and said good job – completely defensible given the context of a softball game – and I meant it. She’s amazing in situations like that.

Don't let the smile fool you.

Don’t let the smile fool you.

2. There is not much room for error in the world of the ENTJ. They dislike to see mistakes repeated, and have no patience with inefficiency. They may become quite harsh when their patience is tried in these respects, because they are not naturally tuned in to people’s feelings, and more than likely don’t believe that they should tailor their judgments in consideration for people’s feelings. This basically explains why Lynnette can be so short with me. There many names for the type of behavior I display. For example, I will say “freelance” when what it really means is “make shit up as I go along.” Anyway, Lynnette has always had a low tolerance for my inefficiency. Don’t get me wrong, I’m completely against inefficiency, too, but it’s just that whenever I am tasked with doing things I am not familiar with, it takes me FOR-EV-ER. That’s when Lynnette growls and grunts and makes over-the-shoulder suggestions that lead to us almost getting divorced. She is definitely of the “I’ll just do it myself” mold. I don’t hold it against her, though. This weekend, Lynnette gave me a little taste of my own medicine. I do this thing once in a while. I pretend to caress her face, but my fingers are purposefully really clumsy and rough. I suppose I find it ironic, and therefore humorous. Well, she did that to me while I was driving home from dinner on Friday night. “I love you, Philby,” she said after nearly gouging one of my eyes out. “Holy shit,” I said. “I’m super-irritating, huh?” She smiled and nodded.

3. ENTJs are very forceful, decisive individuals. They make decisions quickly, and are quick to verbalize their opinions and decisions to the rest of the world. Wait – so are all women ENTJs? Except when they try to pick out an outfit, I mean?

"I ain't no time fo' this."

“I ain’t no time fo’ this.”

4. On the other hand, an ENTJ who has not developed their Thinking side will have difficulty applying logic to their insights, and will often make poor decisions. This is the statement that made me laugh the most. Lynnette is a generally solid decision-maker… unless her emotions get in the way, then all bets are off. She does this thing where she’ll make an inefficient – and therefore completely out of character – decision, then try to justify it with the worst kind of logic. I don’t even think she believes it. I appropriated the term “goat logic” and use it to call out Lynnette whenever she does this. It used to make her upset. Now she kind of just laughs along with it. To wit: “Hey, can we go to Sugarlina on the way home?” “Why? We have to get off the freeway in the middle of traffic.” “Well, they have the salted caramel cupcake today, and I know you said you want to look to see if Lids has your new Mets cap.” “So we’re going to Pearlridge too? What kind of goat logic is that?” “Look, I just want a cupcake, okay?” In her defense, she picked me as a spouse, so she doesn’t always miss.

During my first go-around with the personality website, I missed a sub-page which spoke of each personality type in specific areas. Among other things, this is what it said about my personality type’s weaknesses:

Not usually good at practical matters, such as money management. Tend to have difficulty leaving bad relationships. Oh, ’tis true!


Tends to have difficulty listening to others. Tendency to be controlling. Ditto.

And then somehow, inexplicably, also this:

ENTJ’s natural partner is the INTP.

We’re psychologically made for each other.

I don't understand it, either.

I don’t understand it, either.




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