Apprentices, Real and as Depicted in a Video Game

Our first Monday of summer was less than spectacular and that was my fault. I left my wallet in Lynnette’s car Sunday night so we were stranded at home. When I realized this, I swore, sighed, then resigned myself to a day of cleaning. I did the laundry and cleaned the master bedroom. That only leaves two bathrooms, two bedrooms, and the entire living room/kitchen area. Great. I’ll probably do the computer room today since it will require the least work. Mad and I are getting out of the house, though. No idea where, though. She’s still knocked out in bed.

Keeping her on task is one of the great challenges of my life.

Keeping her on task is one of the great challenges of my life.

Into what must have been her third hour of Disney Junior, I changed things up. “Do you want to help me clean downstairs?” I asked. By then, Madison would have done anything to get out of the house, even it was just five feet outside of the house. She got herself dressed and we headed downstairs. Initially, all I had planned to do was remove the coolers from my car and give them a scrub down, rearrange a few things in the garage, then clean out my car by ridding myself of the lavish collection of Gatorade and Starbucks bottles and empty cigarette boxes.

I am proud of her for helping me. I am proud of myself for not blasting her with the water hose.

I am proud of her for helping me. I am proud of myself for not blasting her with the water hose.

“Are we going to wash you car, dad?” Madison asked. “I guess we might as well, huh?” I said. “Yeah, yeah!” She ran back into the garage and swapped out her slippers for plastic boots. God, she loves shoes. Anyway, she was all about helping my wash the car. She started off with the tires, but in all honesty, I think they’re too dirty for her. She asked if she could move on to the rest of the car and I agreed. She’s a great helper.

As Madison’s teachers like to tell Lynnette and I, the Goob is a story teller. This is not something we weren’t aware of – I mean, we know; she never stops talking – but to hear it from other people is amusing to me. It means other people have to deal with Madison’s imagination, too. Well, yesterday when we were washing my car, she was going on and on about a number of things including where the water goes when it disappears into the drain, running out of soap after two swipes with her glove, and my personal favorite, using her boots to leave wet tracks on the asphalt so that Lynnette and I could find her later. Despite what it sounds like, the car actually got washed, and I have no doubt that it will pour cats and dogs no matter where it is we drive later today.

She can sense evil.

She can sense evil.

Because Abby barks incessantly if she hears our voices downstairs, I brought her down and tied her to the storage shelf on the wall. I forgot that she is afraid of Lynnette’s Edward Cullen cut-out. So when Abby tried to run towards Madison and I in the driveway and her leash moved the life-sized stand-up, she turned and saw Edward’s smoldering eyes locked on her.

Madison and I were busy with washing, but man, Abby kept barking. I turned him around. She kept barking. Finally, I placed him face-down at a 45-degree angle leaning against the freezer. Apparently that was satisfactory to Abby because she stopped barking and resumed her other favorite hobby of walking around the garage and getting herself tangled in everything on the garage floor.

I was just checking to see which outfit would provide Bastila with the best combination of dexterity and defense.

I was just checking to see which outfit would provide Bastila with the best combination of dexterity and defense. This outfit? Dexterity? Yes. Defense? Not so much.

Last week my cousin Tyler sent me a link to a game in the App Store he thought I might like. I clicked on it to find that it was Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic. I think I actually might have said “Whoa, bebe,” out loud. Up until about two summers ago, it had been my summer tradition to break out the XBox and play Knights of the Old Republic II at least once. Now, I’ve gone back to the first iteration of the game. It took me about 3 seconds to decide to download the game despite its hefty price tag. I mean, you can’t put a price on being able to explore Dantooine from the toilet. I started slowly at first, primarily because I wasn’t used to the game play on the iPad as opposed to the XBox controller. But I noticed that the game saved and loaded a lot quicker, and well, let’s just say that I haven’t been crushing candy at last week’s torrid pace.

One of silver linings from yesterday’s non-wallet fiasco was that I was afforded enough time to earn my own lightsaber. Watch out, now.

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