The Waiting Game

This morning is looking “not too cherreh.” Lynnette’s picked up some kind of stomach virus so she’s home sick this morning. I might have it too, but my stomach is so junk that I can’t tell unless I’ve got it bad. Fingers crossed. It’s raining outside, so Madison’s plans regarding the pool and jacuzzi are delayed at least.

I live with vampires.

I live with vampires.

Despite the fact it’s Thursday, it feels like a Saturday or Sunday because both of my girls are still asleep in the room. You can see a moderate amount of sunlight in the room because the blinds are still open. Now, you’re right, I could have closed them on my way out of the room, but that would have prevented Madison from doing one of the most hilarious things she does.

Sometimes when she’s sleeping in and the sun gets too bright (but it’s raining here, I don’t know if she’ll do it today), she’ll get up in a huff, walk to the window, close the blinds, then zombie back over to her futon, pull the blanket over her head, then go back to sleep. The first time I caught on to her act was earlier this summer. I went to use the bathroom and when I came back into the bedroom, it was noticeably darker than it had been when I left. I looked down at Madison and she was covered by her blanket. I walked over to the window and opened the blinds. “TOO BRIGHT!” I heard a voice behind me shout. I thought she was sleeping, that clown. “Did you get up and close the blinds?” I asked. “Yeah!” she said.

Sometimes during the week, I’ll be in the living room doing Phil things and then I’ll hear a little voice growl. Then I’ll hear little, angry foot steps. Then I’ll hear the blinds slam shut, followed by more angry footsteps. It makes me laugh every time.

The suspense isn't killing me. I can't say it's torturing me, either. Let's just go with "the suspense is in the back seat asking me 'are we there yet'?"

The suspense isn’t killing me. I can’t say it’s torturing me, either. Let’s just go with “the suspense is in the back seat asking me ‘are we there yet’?”

Today is also kind of a big deal for me professionally. I’m sorry, I couldn’t type that with a straight face. Anyway, at about 2:00 this afternoon, I’ll be able to see my students’ scores on the AP English Literature and Composition exam they took in May. For a reason that doesn’t immediately make itself known, my students have been able to see their scores for over a week already, but teachers and school officials have had to wait until today to see the entire roster breakdown. That’s uns. A few of my students have already told me what they scored, and so far it looks good. I would, however, like to verify them for myself. My review of the AP scores always breaks down the same way:

1. I click the link.

2. I shout “hurry the **** up!” to the computer. (plus/minus two swear words)

3. Once the page loads, I look for 4s or 5s, then scan left for the name attached.

4. I shout “Chee Huu” or something equally embarrassing and inappropriate for a professional educator.

5. I look for 2s and 1s, then scan left for the name attached.

6. I growl in anger so loudly that my dog comes jogging into the room, just to make sure I’m okay.

7. I close the page and forget about it for two weeks until I have to start preparing a new set of students.

I guess we can do this today, then.

I guess we can do this today, then.

Lynnette is up and on the couch, giving me a status update on her stomach. She’s more comfortable today than she was yesterday, apparently, a fact she drove home by making sound effects which I assume were meant to approximate the activity in her stomach. I’ll take it easy on her since she’s sick.

Before she got out of bed, she text messaged me a link to free Slurpee Day. I guess Madison and I will be checking that out at some point today. And is 7-11 where they’ve got those F’Real Milkshakes or whatever they’re called? All I know is that they’ve taken over Instagram. Well, okay, they’re still being held off by workout pics, but it’s close, I tell you.

C’mon sun! Shape up! Don’t you know it’s summer?


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