I’m sitting my classroom. It’s 6:55 AM. I just survived my first paper jam of the year. Wouldn’t be the first day without it.
The big machine jammed, the small machine jammed, and the copy room was jam-packed with teachers trying to get some last-minute xeroxing done. I would have been in there sooner, but since I don’t have any cigarettes, my whole routine is screwed up. I don’t know where I belong when. It’s disorienting and I really, really would like a cigarette. I would probably talk to it at this point, and far more nicely than I spoke to the xerox machines. When I find the time, I’m going to program my old iPod to play music in the copy room. The only three files on there will run on a loop: Bob Marley’s “Jammin’,” Michael Jackson’s “Jam,” and a recording of ESPN’s Stuart Scott referencing Michael Jackson’s “Jam” in that way he does.
I’ve got class, break, class, class, class, lunch (with supervision), break, class. That’s what Monday looks like. I don’t think I have to grade anything tonight, but there will be a quiz tomorrow. I realize that considering my job, it would be borderline inappropriate to say “I rahn ’em hahd,” but I’d like to think that once in a while, I actually do run them (whatever the antecedent is supposed to be) hard.
My wonderful wife made me a tuna sandwich for lunch. While I am grateful that I will have a meal today, I am also saddened because this tuna sandwich symbolizes the end of a summer spent eating way too well and way too much. We’re back on the home lunch grind, which means it’s time for me to (hopefully) lose a little weight and (undoubtedly) lose a few Tupperware containers. I am already missing asking Madison what she wants for lunch only to veto her unless it’s an idea I actually like. When I first started doing that, I asked “Is this what it feels like?” in a reference to Lynnette’s own constant vetoing of my suggestions. And while I vowed never to become drunk with that power, I must admit that I have lived long enough to see myself become the villain. I am sorry, Madison, for guiding you towards Arby’s, sushi, and whatever was closest at any given time. I miss you terribly. I hope you enjoy your last few days of summer before you start kindergarten.
I suppose the one silver lining that I am currently aware of (and it is thin) is the purchase of a new backpack. During my first few years of teaching, in the days of disposable income, I bought a backpack for each new school year. That trend has slowed to something like once every three years. As such, I have a wealth of backpacks hiding (or not hiding) around the house that are used for such things as “going to the beach,” “packing a go-bag,” “holding my softball stuff,” and “taking up space around the house.”
My new bag is from Costco because everything is from Costco. It is red (my first red bag!) and has many pockets (the backpack equivalent of cup holders in cars!). I am looking forward to breaking this bag in by leaving it my classroom Monday-Thursday, then bringing it home for the weekend.
I have a little less than an hour before my first class of the day, and since I did not procrastinate today, I have nothing else to do but run web searches for the latest iPhone 5s rumors. I do this once a day. I can’t remember if I’ve mentioned it already, but my upgrade date has come and gone, but I’m still rocking my iPhone 4. Surely, I have run that hahd. Anyway, there are all kinds of Verizon rumors about the Moto X and the HTC One, but I’m really just waiting to see what Apple will do. Lynnette already jumped onto the Android ship, and while I don’t know that I will join her, it’s not like I’m going to buy the next iPhone just because. It has to wine me, dine me, and (you know) me a little.
To all of you still on summer break: I am jealous. Enjoy it while it lasts.