Jurassic Park IV – or whatever it’s going to call itself – is going to film (at least in part) in Hawaii in the near future. The movie’s IMDB page is short on details other than its postponement and working title of Jurassic World, so I have taken it upon myself to write a loose draft of JP:IV, to be marketed as “Jay-Pee-Eye-Vee.”
Opening Scene: Overhead shot of a boat near an series of small islands. Zoom in to reveal college-aged bros and their girls – maybe they’re involved, maybe they’re just friends, we’ll keep it breezy – roughly eight people total. The guys are all shirtless and ripped. Girls with bikinis on, loose clothing over, huge sunglasses. HUGE sunglasses. The land on an island (the original Jurassic Park island, unbeknownst to them) for a hike. They take a lot of pictures with the flagship phone of whichever company pays me the most to include it in the film. As they’re about to head back to the ship, they hear gunfire. And since this is a movie, they think “We’d better check that out,” instead of “Let’s get the f*ck out of here,” like most humans would in real life.
So they get to the source of the noise and they see an organized military unit, heavily armed, obviously coordinated. Then they hear screeching and finally they see dinosaurs in cages. Not full shots, only glimpses. One of the guys decides to take video with his ___________________ smartphone. He gets about two minutes of footage and start uploading to his Facebook page before one of the girls spots a snake slowly descending from a tree, causing her to scream. This alerts the highly-trained military unit to their presence. All of the bros and girls get gunned down. Eventually, the unit finds the boat, kills the pilot and burns them both. The final dramatic shot is of the screen of the _____________________________ smartphone (thrown into the brush) which reads “Upload complete.” Also prominently featured will be the name of the carrier that pays me the most, as the implication is their LTE network works well, even on remote tropical islands.
Exposition: The video goes viral on the internet and part of its popularity centers on the “Is this real?” debate, since the footage features clear shots of partially obscured dinosaurs. The story is picked up by news outlets like CNN, ABC News, and even ESPN where Skip Bayless makes a quick cameo screaming about how the speed of raptors would neutralize Chip Kelly’s offense.
Eventually, word of the video makes its way to Dr. Alan Grant who quickly dismisses it as a hoax despite A) knowing for damn sure that dinosaurs do exist, and B) never having seen the actual video. Dr. Grant then watches the video to appease his the students in the class he’s teaching at Loyola Marymount University. He is skeptical, of course, and his cynicism almost causes him to miss a key detail in the video. You know the scene: Dr. Grant smirks while the footage starts, but then his facial expression changes because he recognizes one of the men in the video to be Henry Wu (with BD Wong reprising his role). His face goes white as he quickly excuses himself from class. Quick shot of Grant running past the fountain in front of Foley. I should like to be an extra in the background.
Dr. Grant is now convinced of the video’s authenticity, but keeps this under wraps. He accepts an invitation from a local news station to be interviewed and goes on the record saying that he believes the entire thing is a hoax with the purpose of staying off the radar. He finds both Tim and Lex Murphy (this is the best case scenario, but at the very least, we need the boy – I’ll explain why later) and asks them if their grandfather left any information regarding the original Jurassic Park and/or contact information for Henry Wu. When questioned about why he wants the information, Grant plays coy, but the kid(s) guilt trip him into revealing that he believes the video is real. He points out Wu in the footage. Both kids – now adults – are shocked. One or both (but again, at least the boy) volunteer to travel with Grant to the original island.
Rising Action: Dr. Grant, the two Murphys, and a small team of scientists (no Laura Dern) arrive on the island and immediately head for the park. They move carefully at first, but they are eventually alarmed by the lack of dinosaur activity in the area. Grant uses old maps the Murphys brought along to find the location where the video was taken. There is no activity of any kind in the area. There are, however, signs of recent activity: feces, relatively fresh blood, scoring marks, etc.
Grant and the team find themselves in the middle of a large arena-like cage which has been created by modifying original structures. Inside of the area are crude humanoid dummies. Many of them have been torn to shreds. There is char on the ground around what looks like the remains of dinosaurs. There is a path well-worn with tire marks heading into a large entrance at one end of the arena.
Grant and the rest of the group comment about how eerie the scene is. They continue to search the compound, eventually finding a makeshift control center. The room has been gutted, but the curious Tim boots up a few systems and lights flicker. A few small video screens come to life.
Inciting Incident (revelation of the central conflict): The video is an overhead shot of the same makeshift arena. There doesn’t appear to be any sound. There is movement in the bottom left corner of the screen, where the entrance is. A large vehicle backs into the shot. A gate drops and three raptors sprint out of the vehicle. They make directly for the dummies, ripping them apart. Moments later, the three raptors begin to convulse, then appear to spontaneously explode into flames. They fall to the ground. There is little left. “They’re weaponizing them,” Dr. Grant says. The group searches the island, intermittently coming across smaller dinosaurs, but none of the major predators. They leave, ultimately recovering nothing of value.
Dr. Grant returns home and runs internet searches for recent dinosaur sightings. There are a few links – stories from South America and Africa, deep inland – claiming raptor sightings. Grant comes to the conclusion that some shadowy-government faction has been deploying the dinosaurs in heavily forested regions, likely to prevent detection from the outside world.
Grant begins his search for Dr. Malcolm, quickly (for the sake of the movie) finding him in a bar in a small town in Mexico. Dr. Malcolm is drunk, appears to have gone without bathing for some time, and is aggravated upon seeing Dr. Grant. “Get out!” Malcolm shouts. “Leave me the hell alone!” he continues.
Dr. Grant pulls a seat out at Malcolm’s table. “They’re still alive,” Grant says. Malcolm scoffs, “I-I-I told you, that-uh, uh, uh life- life, it finds a way,” he punctuates the statement with that trademarked Goldblum smirk. As the two talk, a group of musicians in the bar begin playing what sounds like the iconic Jurassic Park song. Grant and Malcolm break from their conversation, look at each other, then the band, then dismiss it (that was for all the fanboys). Anyway, Grant explains what he thinks is going on, and while Malcolm can empathize with Grant and denounces the situation, he refuses to join up with Grant.
“I thought you might say that,” Grant says. He pulls out his phone and makes a call. “He won’t come,” Grant says, calmly hanging up. Tim and Lex walk in through the door and Malcolm’s face light up. There is very little arm twisting, and Malcolm joins the group.
First (mini) Climax: The next part of the movie follows the group as they track the military unit and dinosaurs through the jungle. The eventually find them, but arouse the suspicion of the unit. The group is forced to retreat from heavy gunfire. Dr. Grant gets hit by a few bullets. And this is why I need the boy.
“Go,” an oddly calm Dr. Grant calls to Tim. “No! I won’t leave you!” Tim says. Bullets scream overhead. The voices of the enemy grow louder. “You have to go,” Grant says. He coughs. “Don’t let them do this. Save them,” he continues. A teary Tim starts to leave, but Grant catches him by the shirt sleeve. “Here,” Dr. Grant says. He pulls of his hat and places it on Tim’s head. Grant flashes a blank smile and nods. His eyes go dark.
Tim, Lex, and Malcolm make it to their vehicle and manage to race off. And now it is up to the three of them to stop the group I have yet to name, but government-sponsored for sure.
Admit it, you’d gladly pay $10 to watch this movie.