I Am But a Humble Servant, Ye Weather Gods

I’m in one of those weird spots where I don’t really have anything to complain about, but about three hours ago, I imagined that I would. Now I have all of this negative energy I’ve been building up and no real reason to feel this way. I never said it was going to make sense. The weather is almost entirely to blame for it.

Nice to have in the bathroom, and I guess not just for the smell.

Nice to have in the bathroom, and I guess not just for the smell.

I should haven known. It poured in Mililani on Saturday and Sunday, but apparently nowhere else. For reasons that remain unclear to me, there is a strong correlation between heavy rain and our power going out. I was on the toilet last night when the power went out. “Ah, man,” I said in darkness, to myself, I guess. A few seconds later, the lights flicked back on, went out again, then came back and remained on. “I’m going to get the lantern,” Lynnette said from somewhere beyond the door. I was just glad the for the candle. You know, just in case. Oddly enough, this isn’t the first time I’ve had to take a dump in darkness. This incident should have been the omen.

It was loud.

It was loud.

The noise started in the middle of second period and went on through parts of the following two. Apparently, a landscaping company had cut a bunch of trees down but had waited until today to chop them down into itty-bitty bits of tree. From what I understand, they thought we didn’t not have classes today. We should have been so lucky. In any event, this is a classic case of miscommunication that is the hallmark of my work place. This led to having to give lectures on Heart of Darkness in a volume level closer to shouting than regular speech. Coming off Fall Break, I have not lectured in a week and now my throat is sore. Also worthy of note is how blue the sky is in this picture.

My car is covered in a film of substance comprised of what used to be trees.

My entire car is covered in this.

I spent the day getting updates about how horrible the weather was in other parts of the island. I saw pictures of downpours, pictures of ominous clouds, and pictures of downpours falling out of ominous clouds. By 1 in the afternoon, the skies in Kalihi had turned gray.

When I got to my car in the parking lot, I was surprised to find my car covered in a nice coating of tree bits. Apparently, not all of the tree debris gets caught in the back of that truck. I thought about going through a carwash before heading home, but said “Nah, it’s going to pour on the way home.” I was also upset that this meant traffic would be horrendous since people drive 30 MPH on the freeway when it rains. Well guess what? It didn’t rain at all on the way home and there was no traffic. This is why I am not mad but want to be. Stupid nature.

The weather gods are a spiteful, spiteful lot.

The weather gods are a spiteful, spiteful lot.

As the sky in Kalihi darkened, I shot Matty a text: “We aren’t going to play, are we?” And we aren’t. The league cancelled the games. So imagine my frustration in looking outside and seeing the sky look like this. Again, I want to be mad, even though I don’t really have a reason to be.

I want to walk outside of my home and shake my fist at the sky while shouting “weather gawwwwwwwwwwwwwds!” in unadulterated anger. But I cannot. I am a coward. I know from experience that the weather gods are a vengeful lot, and if I should decide to make such a public display of disdain aimed at them, they will bring their retribution to bear in the form of a power outage while I am trying to beat level 347 on Candy Crush from the comfort of my own toilet.

Dallas Cowboys, tied for 1st in the NFC East!


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