It’s officially December, and though retail outlets have been quietly setting up their Christmas decor since two days after the 4th of July, our family has only done minimal recognition of the holiday season. To this point we’ve limited ourselves to a single day of shopping. There are no lights up, we haven’t received (or printed up) any Christmas cards yet. There are signs this will change shortly, however.
Lynnette submitted a late entry into the “Upset of the Year” category by hemming two pairs of dress pants that had been in a holding pattern in the closet for a long, long time. I don’t know exactly how long they’ve been waiting, but I do know that I bought the pants before last school year ended because they’re a lot more snug than I remember. “Make sure you post this to Facebook so people know that you have a good wife,” she said. I think the statute of limitations has run out on such a post. Besides, she was spurred on to hem the pants because she wants to play with the Cricut she bought at Walmart on Blackish Thursday. One of our running Black Friday jokes has been “Which are we going to buy first? The wet/dry vac? Or the Cricut?” Finally, we have the answer. You can except an exponential increase in the number of artsy/craftsy things to come out of this household, that’s for sure.
Lynnette’s even gone so far as to rearrange our living area since the spot we usually put the Christmas tree is currently occupied by the fish tank and a bookshelf. See that empty area between the desk and the back of the couch? A tree will be in there by the end of next weekend. Additionally, Lynnette rotated the dinner table 90 degrees and put one end flush against the wall, just below the window. “This is the best idea ever!” Madison said as she looked out the window. “What the hell are you guys doing to my house?” Abby muttered in her festive but functional winter jacket.
Also, Elf Reid – Madison’s Elf on a Shelf – is back. He showed up on the day after Thanksgiving and Madison nearly caught Lynnette in the middle of mischief Friday night. Madison’s a year older, a year wiser, and perhaps Lynnette will have to adjust her methods accordingly. She’s supposedly been looking up ideas all year on Pinterest, so she’ll be ready for that much. I have to hand it to Lynnette, she always goes with “cute and visible.” If Reid was my responsibility, I’d have sat him in the fridge with two empty bottles of beer by now. Madison would have found him at least once in the pantry eating Gummy Colas. Madison would have found him at the keyboard of a computer with a Google search for “cute elves” on the monitor. “What is Reid doing?” she’d ask. “Maybe he’s lonely,” I’d say.