Introducing Gecks Higa

It’s going to be a hectic few weeks. The semester is winding down and I have sufficiently backed myself up with grading and college recommendations so that whenever I consider getting started on either, I take a deep breath and wish I was at the forefront of cloning technology. But I’m not. The carrot, of course, is the impending Christmas break which I am not letting myself get excited about. As I’ve mentioned in the past, my way of dealing with the excitement of freedom is to constantly remind myself of what I must do before I can enjoy it. It’s the only way I’ll ever get anything done. Ignoring Christmas break is hard, though. There are too many signs in play.

I can't wait until Mad gets her own toy!

I can’t wait until Mad gets her own toy!

In truth, part of the reason I’m even writing right now is because Madison’s using the iPad to watch The Magic School Bus. I don’t have a full stock of Candy Crush lives on there anyway, so I suppose not all is lost. By the time I finish this entry, however, I should be ready to resume my quest.

I have to be honest, I can’t wait until Madison gets her own iPad. Aside from the obvious obviation of sharing, I’ll finally be able to delete all of her cutesie, nonsense apps and throw on more meaningful things – or just hope for the iPad version of Knights of the Old Republic II. It seems fair to make room for that in advance.

There's plenty more where that came from!

There’s plenty more where that came from!

The newest sign of Christmas arrived in the mail today. It was the first wave of our online orders. I say “first” only to indicate to you that there will be more because I have no idea how many waves there are. I think “more than two, but less than 6” is a safe way to go.

Lynnette gifted herself some Kate Spade (her favorite manufacturer of designed handbags) last week, saying “You don’t have to get me a Christmas present” as a way of mitigating the damage in my mind. “Yeah, sure,” I said, but I actually thought “bullshit” or “horseshit,” but I can’t remember which. They are interchangeable as far as I am concerned. Ironically, however, when Friday rolled around and my brand new Lenovo was riding in the Highlander next to Madison, I sheepishly said to Lynnette, “You don’t have to get me anything for Christmas.”

By Saturday night, Lynnette and I had agreed upon the “$40 limit” on additional Christmas gifts for each other “just so we have something to open on Christmas.” I feel like I’ve typed this exact paragraph for three years in a row. Those who forget history are destined for more presents!

Madison's Christmas Counter-Downer.

Madison’s Christmas Counter-Downer.

Madison on Monday brought home a construction paper bell and chain links. She informed us that she is to rip a link off for each day as a countdown to Christmas. That’s great, but I’m a little worried.

This is going to sound insane, but we actually have two pets: Abby and a gecko. We affectionately and lazily call the gecko “Gecks.” No, you’re right, I’m the one that named him. I wish I could post a picture, but apparently he’s camera-shy. We rarely see him, and maybe more than one gecko lives with us, but we’re okay with him/them. Ever since Gecks moved in, we’ve seen a marked decline in the bug population of our home.

Anyway, Lynnette has affixed the bell and chain to the wall on which Braddah Gecks likes to leave his lizard feces. I’m not kidding. One morning, I woke up and saw two lizard turds in the same area of the kitchen floor. I cleaned it up and was amazed to find another there the next day. This has happened several times, including one morning – following what must have been a hell of a night for our friend Gecks – featuring three turds!

You know what this means, don’t you? Gecks is more potty-trained than Abby. As an educator, I am embarrassed for myself. But more embarrassed for Abby.


One comment on “Introducing Gecks Higa

  1. […] Mention: Gecks Higa and the lizard shit he left all over the place; the guy on our block blasting “Turn Down for […]

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