I’m a Money Launderer

Well, obviously, the word “money” in the title of this entry is an adjective.

This hardly does it justice.

This hardly does it justice.

I arranged for one of my students to take photographs of my family out in Waialua where he lives (thanks, Jaren!). The pictures are going to be used for our Christmas cards. I don’t know what Lynnette thought they were for because she took something like 45 minutes to decide on something to wear. I wish I were exaggerating. For the first half-hour, I didn’t really care. I ironed my shirt, got dressed, and started gathering things for our post-photo shoot tidepooling adventure. I packed our water shoes, some beach toys, and the net. I packed swimsuits for everyone. I packed Mad’s sun tan lotion. I packed what I thought was our sun block, but would later discover it was mosquito repellent. Oops.

You'll notice Abby is on the non-ocean side.

You’ll notice Abby is on the non-ocean side.

Our photographer was extremely efficient. We were finished with pictures in 20 minutes. This was Abby’s second time at the beach and apparently, she remembers her first time. She was stoked to be outside, excited to run with us in the sand, but there was something like an imaginary line about 15 feet above the shorebreak  that she wouldn’t cross. She ran shuttle runs with Madison parallel to the beach. It was great. Sadly, though, we never got around to finding some tide pools to explore. When we returned to the car, Lynnette said she wanted to go to some kind of Christmas parade in town. It was already 2:40 and the parade would start at 6. It was the classic, patented Lynnette bait-and-switch. She loves Christmas. It trumps all, even three-day old plans. I told Madison we would not be going to the beach. “I was really looking forward to the tide pools,” she said. Her grasp of the guilt trip at such a young age is remarkable, I think. She was disappointed so I told her I’d take her to the pool for a little while instead. It was more of a jacuzzi day in Mililani Mauka. Crisis averted.

I'm better at laundry than whatever it is that you're best at. Is what I tell myself. When I'm doing laundry. And watching Die Hard With a Vengeance.

I’m better at laundry than whatever it is that you’re best at. Is what I tell myself. When I’m doing laundry. And watching Die Hard With a Vengeance. On something called the Esquire Channel.

Well, Lynnette got her parade. She and Madison are somewhere in Chinatown. I stayed home because someone had to do laundry. We don’t have time to do it tomorrow because we have errands to run and lunch at my parents’ house which includes a meeting to talk about the family Christmas party that we have to run this year.

At this moment, I have a load in the dryer, one in the washer, and only Abby’s blankets and towels are on stand-by. My lone regret is that it took me so long – I’m already in my early 30s! – to discover my knack for doing laundry. Shoot, had I known earlier, who knows how many more Saturday nights I would have spent perfectly executing the sorting, the washing, the drying, the resorting, the folding, the hanging.

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