The Cowboys are Dead! The Event Horizon III Lives!

Things could have worked out worse. I don’t know how, but I’m pretty sure it’s possible.

1As of Sunday afternoon, I knew two things about Monday: I had a softball game at 6:15 and the Cowboys were in Chicago for Monday Night Football. For whatever reason, by brain didn’t see the conflict until early Monday morning. It was going to be a pretty big game for Dallas since the Eagles had already won on Sunday. I felt the Cowboys might need me. I was torn, I really was.

I decided to ask my friend on the team if they’d have enough players without me. I knew it would be a long shot considering Matty was already unavailable. I was told I made ten. Of course I went to the game. It was the only responsible thing to do since they’d likely be short-handed without me. I was resigned to this fate. As I drove home in some pretty terrible traffic, at least I had the radio coverage of the game. I was thrilled as I listened to Romo march the offense right down the field for a touchdown. I was less than thrilled when Chicago came right back to tie the game at 7.

2I watched the remainder of the first half with Madison at home. “What am I going to do?” she asked. “You’re going to watch Daddy watch the Cowboys,” I said. “That’s so boring!” she said. “Get ’em Cowboys!” I shouted. “Get ’em Cowboys!” Madison replied. Send the award for Father of the Year to my house, already. Watching the Dallas defense is excruciating. I tried not to swear within earshot of my daughter. When she tired of watching with me, she found some toys and I sort-of played with with one-and-a-half eyes on the game. I left just before the half, I saw Jefferies make that unreal catch in the corner of the end zone. I couldn’t even be mad.

It was mostly half-time on the drive to the field. I got my stuff, walked down to the field, then put my stuff on. I tried to check for a game update. It was already a blow out, but my ESPN app wasn’t displaying any game information. The Bears had 27 points, then 33, then 5. WTF? I think the app was updating or something because when I refreshed it again, it showed me the score of the last time Dallas had a lead (you can tell it was off – look at the time at the top of screen shot, it was already well into the second half by then). Not cool, ESPN Sports Center app. I had a couple of hits, scored a couple of runs, but most of all, I was glad I didn’t stay home for that fiasco of a football game.

3On a much, much happier note, the Event Horizon III is up and running in my classroom. But it wasn’t easy.

Aside: The original Event Horizon (1998-2002) was a Dell that my parents bought me for college. It featured a 8 GB hard drive. That’s not a typo. The Event Horizon II (2002-2007) was a Compaq my parents bought me as a graduation gift. It could play DVDs! I purchased the Event Horizon III (2007-2013) for a nice price from Office Depot and it had been my primary home computer for years before slowing down to the point where I could no longer reasonably watch Mets games on it, and really, that’s the judge of when it’s time to get a new computer.

I thought I was doing a good thing by erasing all the data from the Event Horizon III before bringing into my classroom, but it appears I went a step too far. I tried to set the default profile to one in which a user would not need a password to use it. I could imagine an endless loop of “Mistah, what’s da password?” followed by a third-person image of myself walking over to the computer to type it in. It seemed like a pretty solid definition of hell. So what I did was do away with the admin profile. Apparently you aren’t supposed to do that. It took the combined efforts of our school’s tech teacher and one my savvier students to undo my best intentions. “Look,” I said. “I was just trying to do a nice thing for my students.” “Irony!” one of them said. All I’ve ever done was try to enrich their lives through literature and the English language. Then they go and use it against me.



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