Mission: Reappraisal (Phase 2)

We’re on a pace. Lynnette did all kinds of stuff while I was at the baccalaureate luncheon. She dropped off a bunch of stuff at her parents’ house (our storage facility of choice) and took a few large items to a dump facility in Wahiawa. I got home a little after three in the afternoon and Lynnette was super-excited to tell me all about it. Remember, she’s the family handy(wo)man.

Mad's stuff just can't be contained in one room.

Mad’s stuff just can’t be contained in one room.

We’ve completed the cleaning in the computer room. Sadly, before I ever laid a hand on the room, it was clear that a few of Madison’s pink aisle artifacts would be relocated there. Question: Does the Barbie Dream House and Cruise Ship affect the Feng Shui of the room? Answer: I don’t know what that is, but probably. Mad has a lot of toys. There is no incident which illustrates this better than the interaction between Lynnette and her father on Friday afternoon. Lynnette’s dad walked into chaos and said “She has so many toys.” Without missing a beat, Lynnette answered back, “AND THAT’S WHY YOU DON’T HAVE TO BUY HER ANY. GET HER BOOKS.”

Daddy's box?

Daddy’s box?

Madison’s old dresser is in the computer room. The bottom three drawers barely hold all my pairs of shorts. One of the smaller drawers near the top look like this. A few months ago, I invented something called “Mommy’s Box,” which is a plastic box in the living room where I gleefully dump all of Lynnette’s stuff like paperwork, mail, etc. The concept is simple: since none of it is mine, I don’t know what’s important. I also can’t stand her junk being all over the place, so Mommy’s Box is a perfect compromise. Nothing gets lost, thrown away, or ruined, and I don’t have to look at it strewn all over the house. Almost immediately after I created Mommy’s Box, Lynnette suggested Daddy’s Box for my wallet, watches, glasses, and other accessories. She also suggested a purse. Jerk. This is as close as it’s going to get.

Madison got into the cart by herself. Huge milestone.

Madison got into the cart by herself. Huge milestone.

I'm going to buy her a tool belt for our anniversary with a note that reads "Where this and only this tonight."

I’m going to buy her a tool belt for our anniversary with a note that reads “Wear this and only this tonight.”

When I got home, Lynnette informed me that we would have to take a trip to Home Depot and TJ Maxx. I was still in aloha attire as she rattled off what she did in the morning, what was up to at that moment, and what we would have to do in about 5 minutes. The woman is dizzying. Sometimes it’s because of her rapturous beauty, at others it’s because she’s bumping out 188 words per-second.

Well, if you’ve been to our home at any point in the last two or three years, you know that we’ve had problems with the blinds we originally installed in the computer room and our bedroom. They were of the horizontal variety, so dirt, dust, and general soot would land on the slats and stay there. They were filthy. Lynnette did a little research and found that replacing the blinds with curtains would be exponentially cheaper than picking up replacement blinds. The thing is, someone would have to put them up.

What started as something of a joke has become reality. Lynnette really is an impressive DIYer. She installed the hardware for our curtain installations in both rooms. The reason Lynnette’s so much better at it than I am is the same reason she puts all the decals on Madison’s toys: she has a patience and eye for details that I simply don’t possess. I can’t stand there and make sure the little circles I’ve drawn on the wall are spaced apart equally and completely level. I can’t work on projects like that, so I am very lucky I married someone who can, other wise we’d have a bunch of unobstructed windows and toys with crooked stickers on them.

A deserved reward.

A deserved reward.

Don’t for a minute think that Madison hasn’t expressed her overall disapproval of and boredom with the entire cleaning process. Since she’s the living, breathing embodiment of anti-cleaning, we’ve more or less sequestered her to the couch in the living room in front of the TV. Madison bemoaned the excursion to Home Depot until Lynnette spotted some wall stickers. Madison was in the middle of one of her anti-refinancing screeds when Lynnette said “They have princesses, too.” WHAT? Madison said from the cart. Lynnette handed Madison the stickers. “If you behave, we can decorate your room tonight, OK?” Madison smiled and nodded. “And when you understand what a bribe is, this won’t work anymore,” I said. Madison didn’t acknowledge me, but Lynnette whacked me on the backside. Madison did behave and thus the Disney Princesses now adorn the walls of the pink room.

2/3 bedrooms done!

2/3 bedrooms done!

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