Who’s Crabbier? Madison? Or Actual Crabs? It’s Closer Than You Think!

I never thought that I’d be handing out MVP honors to a bunch of roaches, but I don’t think I have any other choice after last night. Without their influence, last night might have been a total flop.

Keeping an eye out for those bugs!

Keeping an eye out for those bugs!

I don’t understand Madison sometimes. We originally planned to hunt sand crabs over the summer, but the plans fell through due to scheduling conflicts. At the time, she moped around the house like the world had ended or was about to end. She threw out one-liners like “Now we have to wait a whole year to go crab hunting.” This kind of behavior would lead one to believe that she loves crab hunting. That’s why it was so frustrating when we got there and she said “I don’t like crab hunting.” It’s like she loves the idea of getting together with people, getting into a car, and taking a long drive, but that’s it. She loves it right up until the point where actual crabs get become part of the equation.

Matty checking out the crab fighting.

Matty checking out the crab fighting.

Initially, not even the fact that Tanya and Matty joined us seemed to rouse Mad from her negativity. I hate Mopey Madison. She was firm on her stance that she would not participate, so Lynnette and I set up a mat for her and turned a lantern on. Within a few minutes, roaches and other types of insects were drawn to the large light source. “You see that?” I said to Madison. “What?” she said. “The bugs like the light. If you sit here, then you’re going to have to deal with all the bugs coming to see the light,” I said. She didn’t believe me until it actually started happening. First, the small gnat-sized bugs came, and eventually, they became larger. Roaches began to make their way onto the mat and that was all it took. Mad popped up off the mat and joined the crabbing expedition. We found out that Madison would rather take her chances with the sand crabs than the roaches and bugs (maybe it has something to do with flying capabilities), which is ironic considering that we learned that sand crabs eat roaches live.

Once again, Lynnette's Loving Touch.

Collarbones Jones up in here!

Since we were near the ocean, Lynnette somehow managed to find a couple of sea cucumbers. Like always, the sea cucumbers appreciated Lynnette’s Loving Touch™. Predictably, Mad and Lynnette played a couple of rounds of “Which Side of the Cucumber is Going to Sheesh When We Lift It Out of the Water?” I feel as if the name of this game is self-explanatory. Matty was able to scoop an oama with the net. He posed with it for a picture, but sadly, my camera struggles in low-light situations and both Matty and his prized catch are too blurry for publication.

Good Time Madison!

Good Time Madison!

Matty’s snag would have been the catch of the night if not for the fact that Mad somehow scooped a fish herself. As near as I can tell, she was swinging the net wildly in the water around her. She vaguely mentioned something about characters in Mulan doing something similar, but I couldn’t think of the specific scene she was referencing. At some point, she started shouting “I caught a fish!” She was wildly swinging the net in the air. “Put it back in the water,” I said. She started to turn the net over. “NO! JUST PUT THE NET BACK IN THE WATER!” I shouted at her. I didn’t want or need something like this on my conscience.

Madison's Bucket Studio Apartments: enough space for a tiny fish and three hermit crabs.

Madison’s Bucket Studio Apartments: enough space for a tiny fish and three hermit crabs.

Sure enough, a tiny silver little thing was laying on its side in the net. We placed him in Madison’s blue bucket along with the only kind of crab Madison will touch. It was at this point of the night where Madison forgot all about the hunt and transformed into an interior decorator. “I gave them seaweed so they have something to eat and a rock so that they have something to play with,” she said excitedly. Occasionally, she’d return to the bucket to check on her friends, then sprinkle a little sand in the bucket, “for decorations,” she said. “Aren’t you having fun?” I asked. “Yeah,” she said. “But I still hate crabs.”


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