2014 Dallas Cowboys: 0-1, Snorkeling With the Girls

I got up early Sunday morning and spent it watching NFL Red Zone while also doing laundry and cleaning up the living room. It probably wouldn’t surprise you to know that my interest was augmented by hypothetical wagers and fantasy football teams. I made breakfast for the family, finished the laundry, and vacuumed before the Cowboys game started at 10:30. By now, you know how that went.

Lynnette cuts everyone's hair except for her own.

Lynnette cuts everyone’s hair except for her own.

As I am paranoid by nature, I thought that Lynnette began cutting Madison’s hair at a curious time. She had all morning, she could have had all afternoon, but she decided to begin her work just before the Dallas game. Could this have been an attempt to prevent Madison from watching the game with me? Possibly. Even if it was, who the hell could blame her? Dallas received the opening kickoff and gave up a fumble for a touchdown in the blink of an eye. For you non-Cowboys fans, this might seem incredible, but for the Cowboys Faithful, this is par for the course. “It’s 7-0 San Francisco!” I yelled. “Madison growled from the bathroom. This was immediately followed by Lynnette shouting “STAY STILL OR I’M GOING TO MESS UP YOUR HAIR!” Someone has her priorities screwed up.

Thank God for my girls.

Thank God for my girls.

I thought the game started at 9:30, so Lynnette and I had planned to go to the beach immediately following the game. “I thought your game started at 9:30?” she asked at 9:45. “Um, yeah, it’s 10:30,” I said. “So we’re not going to the beach?” she asked. “No, we’re going to go,” I said. I’m not going to lie. Watching Tony Romo throw all the interceptions made it easier for me to leave the house at halftime. But I’m a superstitious person, so I was going for the oh-no-I-left-the-house-and-missed-the-greatest-comeback-in-Cowboys-history anti-jinx. It didn’t take. Instead, we headed out to Sharks’ Cove for some snorkeling. Sadly, the water was murky. This made it somewhat difficult to see the fish, and nearly impossible to take decent pictures of said fish moving around me. Obviously, though, I had been let down earlier in the day. Murky water wasn’t really going to ruin anything.

Just call me DeMarco Murray.

Just call me DeMarco Murray.

I get the feeling that Madison doesn’t truly enjoy snorkeling. She’ll mill around for 15 minutes before she gets tired of the mask on her face. That’s when she abandons the snorkel gear and returns to her favorite hobby of doing Pokemon moves in the water. Lynnette on the other hand took my snorkel set and swam off as I took Madison to drop her mask off and apply lotion. By the time Madison and I got back to Lynnette, the mask was off and she was complaining of a headache. Maybe she really had a headache, but as I am paranoid, I thought she might just be setting up the headache for bedtime. Clever girl.

“Is it the mask?” I asked. “Maybe,” she said through closed eyes. “It might be that I didn’t have coffee yet.” (A later trip to Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf would reveal that she was right.) We spent the last 20 minutes in the shallow water looking for tiny aquatic life. Madison also pretended to be Oshawott like she does at all other times of the day. This is not a phase. When it was time to go, I towed the girls into the shore on the bodyboard. Like DeMarco Murray, I was left the drag the team to an underwhelming finish. Better luck next week Cowboys and Higa Family Adventures!

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