2014 Dallas Cowboys: 2-1 and a Homecoming Victory

It was an almost perfect (non-fantasy) football weekend. Gotta love those qualifiers.

Of course I picked out this dress.

Of course I picked out this dress.

Damien defeated St. Francis on Saturday by a final score of 46-18. It was exciting game for Monarchs fans which featured touchdown passes to four different receivers and two interceptions returned for touchdowns. As per tradition, I offered my students extra credit for attending the game and saying hello to me, and an added two points for complimenting my wife. Sadly, no one collected on those two bonus points because when Madison and I went down to the sideline at halftime, Lynnette refused to leave the comfort of the shaded blue section. She was right.

Madison and I made our way down to the bottom of the orange section and we had both built up the beginnings of a nice sweat sheen by the time we got there. Many of my students earned their extra credit and tried for the extra two by complimenting Mad (that doesn’t count). The Goob and I watched the cheerleaders, watched the princes and princesses make their way out onto what must have been an incredibly hot field, and stuck around for some third quarter action. I wanted to take pictures from that vantage point, but as I looked at my daughter, I knew we had to return to the blue. Like Friday night, she was wearing Hannibal Lecter’s mask – only it was made of sweat. “Let’s go, Goob,” I said. She didn’t fuss at all. That is until we discovered the Icee wasn’t quite ready for service. “How come it’s not ready?” she asked. “I don’t know, sweetheart,” I said. “They should know it’s so hot!” she groaned. She was right.

By you!

By you!

Today we spell "redemption" "2-4."

Today we spell “redemption” “2-4.”

I lack the verbal acuity to explain how the Dallas Cowboys beat the St. Louis Rams 34-31 after spotting the Rams a 21 point lead. While Tony Romo did throw a pick-6, he wasn’t alone in contributing to an absolutely dreary first quarter. DeMarco Murray fumbled (again) on a first down pass, and the beleaguered, embattled, much-maligned Mo Claibourne was repeatedly beaten for big gains, including this 9,000-yard touchdown to Brian Quick. Grantland’s Bill Barnwell on Claibourne’s perfomance:

Claiborne giveth, and giveth, and giveth, and giveth, and then, almost by accident, he taketh away.

Despite being badly burned or blowing assignments outright for most of the game, Claibourne sealed the Dallas win with an interception on an Austin Davis overthrow during the Rams’ final drive. When he returned to the jubilant sideline, he approached head coach Jason Garrett who promptly congratulated Claibourne by banging the back of his helmet with an open hand. You will never convince me that those slaps were anything but the result of pent up anger and delayed release.

Sigh.

Sigh.

I went 3-0 through the morning games with only the prime time Steelers at Panthers football game to go. I took the Panthers getting three points and felt pretty good about it through the half. That’s when Lynnette mentioned heading over to Party City to look for her costume’s components. What the hell? The game is going to end whether I watch it or not. We were already in Waikele when I checked my phone again to see that the Steelers had taken a 10-point lead. The next time I checked, the score was something like 30-13 and that was that. The Panthers didn’t just crap the bed, they crapped the bed, flipped the mattress over, then crapped it again.

“I was one game away,” I said. “How much do you spend on that a week?” Lynnette asked. “$10,” I said. Silence. “It’s a hobby,” I said. “How long is the football season?” she asked. “18 weeks,” I said. “$180?” she asked, rhetorically, but not really. “That’s a pretty cheap hobby,” I said. She didn’t reply. I left it there. “At least it’s not cocaine,” I wanted to say, but I also wanted to live.

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