I have to be honest. I’ve been really busy with stuff that is the opposite of fun. As a result, I haven’t had time for stuff that is fun. I guess that’s just a long way of saying that I haven’t had all that much to write about. Consequently, I feel obligated to catch you up on the little that my family has been up to.
I don’t have many skills, and the ones I do aren’t significant. One of them is the ability to generate nicknames. I would estimate that roughly 93% of them are not based on any kind of logic. To illustrate this, here are a few of the nicknames I’ve given to my wife and daughter:
Lynnette is also: Sens, Senster, Senbei, Senby, Sensterby, Maymeson, Mayme, Mem, Djem, Membe, Membe the Djembe, L-Net, Double-You-Why-Pee-Aitch, Luvah, Hotness Everdeen, and PYT.
Madison, at one time or another, has also been called: Goobi, Goob, Goo, Goobenstein, Stink, Stinky Ding, Mad, Em-Ay-Dee, Mad-ah, Pork Chop, Peach, Friendly, Friendship, and more recently, Oshawott.
I’ve also given Abby a few nicknames, my personal favorite being “Wabba,” then using this word to replace “Biggie” in the chorus of “Hypnotize.” For whatever reason, I looked at Abby two days ago and said “How are you, Aloha Pup?” She wagged her tail. “What did you just call her?” Lynnette asked. “Aloha Pup,” I repeated. “She’s spreading aloha and friendship all over the island… by peeing on the carpet.” Wab was still wagging her tail.
A couple of weeks ago, Lynnette and I had a blow up. We came out of the argument agreeing that we should both work on making our intentions clearer. It’s worked, we’ve talked more often. Since this conversation, Lynnette has semi-sarcastically been saying things like “I would like to connect,” before we make time to talk. Last night, Lynnette told me that she doesn’t like “Aloha Pup,” or “Pomai,” a name she gave Abby herself. “Why?” I asked. “Because Abby isn’t a moke,” my Double-Why-Pee-Aitch said. I suppose Lynnette would know, as she famously spent her teens and pre-Phil 20’s trying to get with guys named Ikaika, Kekoa, Pono, and
Brett Kalani. “Abby, do you like being called Aloha Pup?” I asked. She perked up and wagged her tail. Chee huu.
As representative as the story above is, I feel like the Amazon order we put in this week is even more indicative of what our life is now. Lynnette wanted this seat-frisbee-thing to sit on at work. She loves getting in on trends like this. She denies it, but it’s true. Just last night, she said “I wish I could coupon full-time. I wish someone would just pay me for couponing.” It was rhetorical, I am sure, but the sighs were probably for me.
Then there’s Madison, whose Pokemon-mania is at a new all-time high seemingly every week. We found an Axew plush doll at Razor Concepts in Pearlridge. She loves pouring four quarters at a time into those vending machines that pop out a random Pokemon in a plastic shell. And in all this time, she hasn’t come across an Oshawott, her favorite Pokemon. She doesn’t know this Beanie Baby is coming. I will post pictures of her face when she finds this clown in the box.
Finally, I needed to add $5 more in order to qualify for free shipping so I went practical and ordered another straw top for our Hydroflasks because I am guilty of leaving the Hydroflasks in my car, around the house, in the garage, and everywhere but the sink. Yeah, I’m that guy. We only have one straw top now, and whenever I have to use the top without the finger hole, I hate it. So then this. There were no Troy Aikman jerseys available for $5.
This is life right now. I can only hope that things pick up next week during Fall Break.