Pretty (Expensive) Fish

Between lunch at my parents’ house and the usual Sunday errands, Lynnette and I took Madison to Coral Fish Hawaii. I want to say that it was not Madison’s first time there, but when I asked her about it, she didn’t seem to remember ever going there. I vaguely remember walking behind a much younger Madison (who was still unsteady on her feet), and it’s entirely possible that I would be able to find out for sure if I wasn’t too lazy to check this blog’s archives. Damn it. Now I want to know. Hold on. I just did a search. Nothing.

Sadly, no bad jokes from this guy.

Sadly, no bad jokes from this guy.

I have to be honest. Since I couldn’t remember my last trip to Coral Fish, I was kind of curious myself, especially since we’ve been snorkeling much more frequently than in the past. The most extravagant fish I’ve seen around the reefs are angelfish. Most of the fish we come across are drab in color or nearly translucent, nothing like the fish for sale at Coral Reef. I suppose that makes sense. The cost and maintenance of a saltwater tank is in itself extravagant, so I suppose you’d want the brightest and most exotic looking creatures available. If I had both the time and means, there would probably be a great number of blue and/or orange fish in my tank, perhaps one or two blue starfish.

"C'mon! Puff!"

“C’mon! Puff!”

Madison was excited by our trip. She spent most of her time trying to encourage various pufferfish to expand. Her pleas of “C’mon, pufferfish, puff!” were coupled with what I guess were attempts to pantomime the act of expansion as captured here. Maybe she was simply trying to scare them into expanding because these are the exact mannerisms she uses when trying to scare Lynnette and myself. In fact, now that I think about it, Mad did everything but shout “RAH!” at the pufferfish. I guess one day my dad will have to hook a one of those huge spiky puffers and bring it to shore. That always seems to rouse them into a balloon state. I don’t think Mad would be so cavalier without the glass between her and the fish, though.

PC: Madison Higa

PC: Madison Higa

We went upstairs to the freshwater section. First of all, I just want to say that I am thrilled that I didn’t have to fight a groundswell of “We should bring the fish tank back out!” That would have been pretty terrible.

The most Lynnette-ish thing possible happened when we came across the betta section. Unlike Petco and Petsmart which feature bettas of the $7 variety, Coral Fish Hawaii has the upper-level bettas, too. “Ooooh, look at these!” she said. Lynnette spoke of these $27 fish in the words and tones usually reserved for her designer handbags and shoes – you know – as opposed to their non-designer counterparts. While I have to admit that they were much more aesthetically pleasing than the bargain bettas, it’s not like I knew what else set them apart. That didn’t matter to Lynnette, though. She is emotionally, intellectually, and physically turned on by quality as reflected through price. I have no doubt that she would find me exponentially more attractive if I were simply more expensive. And maybe lost a little weight. And didn’t still make juvenile jokes. Well, just trust me, OK?

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