The Official Culinary Celebration of Lynnette’s #^th Birthday

Article F, Section 13, Paragraph 4 of my marriage pact reads as follows:

Any celebration of Lynnette (including – but not limited to – birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, Girls’ Day, Christmas, and New Years – shall not be considered complete until Lynnette has experienced a fine dining experience of her choice. “Fine dining” shall be defined as “a dining experience which requires reservations, formal clothing, the ironing of said formal clothing, ordering seven-word entrees, and wincing upon receiving the check.” 

Curry-braised pork shank.

Curry-braised pork shank.

Maple leaf duck breast and duck thigh confit.

Maple leaf duck breast and duck thigh confit.

Butter noodle with parm cheese.

Butter noodle with parm cheese.

Lynnette decided on Roy’s in Hawaii Kai for her celebratory birthday dinner. It was a long drive, but there was little traffic on Saturday afternoon, so it was an enjoyable one. Madison was impressed when we arrived. She oohed and aahed over the koi pond and large gyotaku paintings on the high walls. “Do you like this restaurant?” Lynnette asked. “It’s super nice!” Madison said.

We enjoyed sushi (of course) and crab cakes as appetizers; Madison was served a cheese quesadilla along with fruits and veggies. We watched the sun set in the time before our entrees arrived. “It’s so nice to see the beach and the sunset,” Madison said.

Madison’s main course came first (THANK YOU, ROY’S) and she quickly mixed the parmesan cheese into her pasta. There were no complaints from Madison, only sounds of chewing. “Is this a place you think you would like to come for your birthday?” Lynnette asked Madison. The Goob nodded without breaking her chewing stride. Lynnette loved her pork shank. It was delicious, but I think she might have loved the portion size just as much; she’ll be having leftovers for dinner. I ordered the duck on a whim and holy oh my God, I chose wisely. The loved the crispy skin on the thigh, but the seared breast was other-worldly. It was sweet and the texture was a little like sushi. I will order that dish every single time we go there per Article F, Section 13, Paragraph 4.

The remains of dessert.

The remains of dessert.

If you’re a friend and long-time reader, then you know Lynnette is a foodie in general, but specifically a Snacker. She loves all food, but majored in sweets. Look, if you asked Lynnette “What three things would you bring if you were air-dropped onto a deserted island?” she would hear the question as “What three things would you bring if you were air-dropped onto to a desserted island?” then immediately answer “A fork, a knife, and a spoon.” Her daughter Madison appears to be growing into the same kind of creature. I took a bite of all the components of our dessert last night – Mad’s ice cream/cookie sandwich, the chocolate cake, and the vanilla ice cream – then sat back to watch my wife and daughter utterly destroy the rest of it.

Happy birthday, Lynnette!

Happy birthday, Lynnette!

It was like watching a lioness and her cub feast upon the body of an ice cream zebra. Madison showed a special zeal, resting her chin on the table, opening her mouth adjacent to her plate, then shoveling the dessert into it. She was so aggressive that she managed to get melted ice cream in strands of her hair. The frenzy was over quickly. The picture above is my favorite of the night: the lioness and cub so over the ice cream zebra carcass that one has gone back to coloring while the other surveys the landscape for more food.

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