One of Madison’s homework assignments tasked her with differentiating between needs and wants. I was not home when Madison completed her work, but Lynnette was kind enough to send me the photo of what Madison came up with.
1. Shoes. Whenever we go shopping at stores that sell kids’ clothing, Madison heads straight for the girls’ shoes. She kicks off her slippers and immediately tries on the three or four most shiny, ornate, and princessish pairs of shoes to be found. I cannot blame her for this, as yes, there was a time that I too considered shoes to be among the most important of life’s needs. And then I look at this picture and see that she’s drawn these bad boys with massive heels and oh, man, she’s going to be a straight-up diva, isn’t she?
2. Clothes. I am not surprised in the least that she’s drawn a dress, or that it’s pink, but the red star threw me for a little loop. She doesn’t own a dress that looks even remotely like this one, and she hasn’t yet discovered the blessing and curse that is Heineken, so I can only assume the star is related to our beloved Dallas Cowboys. Good girl.
3. Food. What a fraud. She’s drawn what looks like a piece of broccoli and a banana. It’s not that she doesn’t eat those two food items – she does – it’s just that those two aren’t even in her top 30. I’ll prove it. In no particular order, Madison’s favorite foods are: mac and cheese, Easy Mac, cheese pizza, Uncrustables, lasagna, turkey sandwiches, fried chicken, mochiko chicken, Chicken McNuggets, plain cheeseburger, heavily buttered toast, grilled cheese sandwiches, bacon, eggs, spam, Portuguese sausage, any candy, any gum, cantaloupe, honeydew, persimmon, apple, apple with caramel, li ing on anything, li hing from the rim of Lynnette’s margarita glass, rice, nori, saimin, udon, shrimp tempura, and Easy Mac again.
1. Travel. Man, she got hit hard by the travel bug. Ever since we took that trip to California two summers ago, all she wants to do is get on a plane and go someplace else. When we explained to her that going on trips cost a lot of money, she took it to heart, going so far as to matter-of-factly tell Lynnette and I “If you guys have another baby, I hope it’s a girl so that she can use all my old clothes and stuff so we can save money to go on vacation with the baby.” Well, then. In the year-and-a-half since we went on that trip, we’ve used traveling as a
n excuse reason to decline buying her things. Because she is an observant and clever girl, whenever she catches me considering whether or not to make a purchase, she’ll throw it right back at me. “Save your money for our trip!” she’ll say. I HATE IT WHEN THEY USE WHAT I TEACH THEM AGAINST ME. IT IS THE WORST.
2. Money. Why does Madison’s paper money look suspiciously like men’s underwear?
3. Ice Cream. I think this one made me laugh the hardest. When I look at that yellow glob of what is supposed to be ice cream, I wonder what flavor that is. Banana? That seasonal popcorn one? Some kind of caramel something? Who knows? There are certainly specks of some other color in there, too. Are those nuts or little beads of chocolate? I have so many questions for her, but one of them is not in regards to her attention to detail. She could have simply used a blue or black crayon, drew a half-circle atop the cone, called it vanilla, then called it a day. But no. The reason I laughed, though, was I could see her thought process. The ice cream is what made the stupid broccoli and banana make sense. She was making a distinction between the stuff Lynnette and I force her to eat and the things she would always eat if she made her own life choices. Given the assignment, I think she nailed it.