I’ve heard today referred to as Super Saturday, a distant cousin of Black Friday and Cyber Monday. I think that’s a misnomer. The last weekend before Christmas should be billed as Desperation Weekend or something along those lines. The want for alliteration is pretty strong, so maybe Whatever Weekend will do, as in “I’m just getting ______________ (name of recipient) whatever, already.” We’ve all been there. Some of you are there right now, standing in the middle of a store, holding something in your hand, staring at it intently, trying to decide whether it’s going to work out. You know what the difference between last weekend and Whatever Weekend is? This weekend, you’re trying to talk yourself into gifts.
Please do not feel as if I am judging you. I was at Ala Moana for the better part of the day trying to wrap up the Christmas shopping. Lynnette says we’ve managed to finish our shopping as of this moment, but there’s a 100% chance that she’ll remember we’ve forgotten someone or decided to buy a gift for someone else or will have been given a gift and now feels morally obligated to return the favor. I’m not sure we completely covered Madison yet. I made Mad write a letter to Santa in Macy’s while Lynnette went to the bookstore to buy her a Pokemon book under the guise of taking new purchases to the car. I didn’t know Mad was going to ask for that exact thing in her letter, but I probably should have. Man, Santa’s going to seem like such an enabler in a couple of days. Well, I suppose there’s still time for me to not get her what she wants for Christmas so she becomes acquainted with disappointment and learns how to handle it. Maybe next year will be her first all-clothes Christmas.
All that shopping built up quite the appetite in the three of us and we cashed in a gift card to the Pineapple Room for lunch. I had been daydreaming – OK, borderline fantasizing – about the seared ahi sandwich since the last time we ate there. Madison defied the odds by opting for noodles tossed in butter and topped with cheese instead of the grilled cheese and fries meal. Then again, it’s been a while since she’s eaten one of those. Maybe her tastes are changing. Lynnette went with the Pineapple Room burger after boldly declaring she would eat a salad for lunch earlier in the day. For what it’s worth, I didn’t believe her for a second. it’s not that Lynnette doesn’t like salad, it’s just that you don’t go to the Pineapple Room for salad. “It’s like whenever I tell myself I’m going to grade after school during finals week,” I said to her. “I don’t know how I ever believe in any of it, even as I’m saying it.” “They have good salads,” she said. Then before I could say anything added “I don’t know if that’s actually true.” I couldn’t stop laughing. Well, she did eat some lettuce and tomato with her lunch, so let’s just go ahead and call it a cheeseburger salad. Everybody wins.
On our way back from town, Lynnette and I hatched a plan to shop for Madison. “You want to play mini-golf?” I asked Mad. Of course she said Yes. “How about I drop you and Dads off so I can get a pedicure?” Lynnette asked Mad. Hook, line, sinker, reel, rod. So as Madison and I played a round of mini-golf at Tropics (the erstwhile Jungle River), Lynnette braved the zoo (her word) of Toys R Us. There are gifts for Madison hidden all over this house and I have no idea where. Last night I went for a pair of socks only to find original Pokemon Red and Blue starters in plush form stuffed in a plastic bag at the back of the drawer. Maybe by next Christmas Mad will get suspicious of us. It’s going to be a great game to outsmart her for the rest of her non-adult life.
Incidentally, Madison drilled a hole-in-one on the last hole of our round today. It ricocheted three times before crawling into the hole. That brought her overall score to a 266. Good game.