Livestock Tavern

I came into this three-day weekend full of hopes that the three of us would be able to have at least one day-long adventure of the outdoors variety, but Madison’s nose has been running so much that it’s in pretty solid shape for a marathon. We might try for a hike tomorrow morning, but the the beach and pool are out of the running, sadly.

Since most of our friends and family know that the way to our hearts is starts at our tongues, takes a lengthy detour at our stomachs and ends at well… our ends, we have a collection of restaurant gift cards. We walked around Chinatown to build up an appetite before heading for Livestock Tavern armed with a gift card from my pseudo-townie brother Paul.  Thanks, Paul! Livestock Tavern did not disappoint.

Clam Chowder.

Clam Chowder.

Madison got the clam chowder because that was about the only thing on the menu she’d eat without asking a million questions about or completely dismiss. Her chowder came with a slice of bread sourdough bread which she took a bite of shook her head. “It’s sour,” she said. Good to know those taste buds work. She waited and waited and waited for it to cool, and eventually began eating the chowder until near the bottom of bowl. “It makes my mouth hot even though the soup isn’t hot anymore,” Mad said. I made my what-kind-of-goat-logic-is-that? face. A few seconds later I received a text message from Lynnette that read “There are red pepper flakes in there.” I laughed. My bad, Mad.

Tavern Burger.

Tavern Burger.

Lynnette went with the Tavern Burger even though the tuna sandwich looked good also. The tie-breaker was the fact that Lynnette made herself a tuna sandwich for breakfast. That seems like a sad coincidence, but then again, if I made myself sushi for breakfast, I don’t think that would prevent me from eating sushi for lunch, you know? I guess it just means Lynnette didn’t want tuna bad enough. When Lynnette’s burger arrived she quickly plowed through a quarter of it before looking up at me and saying “I’ll give you half for half of yours.” My mouth – full of lobster roll at the time – closed as I shook my head. “C’mon,” she said. “I can’t finish it…and I think I taste some mayo and maybe mustard in there.” Ah, there’s the rub. I didn’t notice either of those two condiments, and it was a good burger. I think Lynnette just wanted in on my lobster roll. But Lynnette cannot order the same thing I order because she wants to taste as many things as possible. A few tables away from us were two women who looked as if they’d ordered about half the menu; there was no way they were going to eat everything in one sitting. “I want to make friends with them,” Lynnette said, eyeing their table lasciviously.

Lobster roll.

Lobster roll.

When Lynnette looked over the Livestock Tavern menu before we left the house, she said “Ooooh, lobster roll.” I wasn’t really paying attention so of course the mental image that popped into my head was that of a sushi roll. I thought that was a curious thing to serve at a place named Livestock Tavern, but whatever. Somehow between then and actually sitting down in the restaurant, I figured out she meant the lobster roll sandwich. I never alerted Lynnette to my mistake because I knew she’d point out that it was exactly like one of our first dates when she invited me on a moon walk at Waimea Falls Park. “What kind of moonwalk?” I asked, since I only knew the one. The rest, as they say, is the stuff of fairy tale romance lore. Anyway, I ate about 2/3 of the lobster roll then gave the rest to Lynnette. That’s how much I love her, because man, I really loved that lobster roll. Every time I would watch Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives or some other show on the food network that featured the lobster roll, I’d immediately feel sadness because I didn’t know of a place that sold one. Well, now I do. You haven’t seen the last of me, Livestock Tavern.

Post-Script: Madison made a series of bad choices last night which resulted in her being sent to bed early without dinner or dessert. I can only hope she learns from her mistakes and takes the consequences seriously. One good outcome of Madison’s exile to Pink Roomville was the chance for Lynnette and me to watch an adult movie. No, not porn, just a movie with swearing, adult themes, possibly violence, and hopefully nudity. I thought this might actually mean Magic Mike, but Lynnette surprised me with Before Midnight, the third in Richard Linklater’s Before Sunrise series. I don’t want to spoil the movie (excellent, by the way), but it features a knock-down, drag-out, emotionally devastating argument scene. Both Lynnette and I were pretty silent throughout the movie. I tried making jokes and laughing every so often just to break the tension, but Lynnette did it better by blurting out “Whoa, this scene hits a little bit close to home.” “Finally, somebody said it!” I shouted. We both started laughing. “Nah, Magic Mike, already!” I said. We continued laughing. The Before Sunrise series is a masterful collection of films, but man, if you’re going to watch it with your spouse, bring your sense of humor.

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