Should You Play Tsum Tsum?

If you haven’t already, this entry will help you decide if you should immediately begin playing the Disney Tsum Tsum game for iOS and Android on your electronic devices.

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What is Tsum Tsum?

Tsum Tsum is a variation of the “match three” game popularized by Bejeweled, Candy Crush, and a host of other similar apps. The Tsum Tsum game features smooshed, cartoonish versions of stalwart Disney properties such as Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck. The game also features slightly lesser known characters from movies such as Toy Story and Frozen, but sadly no characters from either the Marvel or Star Wars universes which, I mean, boo.

Will playing Tsum Tsum cost me anything?

Not if you have a shred of discipline. It is a “freemium” game like Bejewled and Candy Crush in that it costs nothing to download and play, but offers in-game purchase for coins and rubies.

Isn’t there some kind of additional app that I have to download in order to play this game?

Yes and no. If you just want to play the game, you can download the Tsum Tsum app and play as a guest. However, you will play this game in a cold, desolate wasteland without any friends. In order for you to populate a friends list and therefore receive hearts (extra plays), you have to download the LINE app (also free), which is some kind of social media communication app that I never use for anything except to add friends.

How do I add friends?

Once you’ve downloaded the LINE app, you can search for friends playing the game. You are able to give hearts to all your friends once per hour. If possible, you can also open up the LINE app, then have every single one of your English students add themselves to your list for the sole purpose of accruing hearts. Again, if possible.

Is the game difficult?

No. Granted, there is an adjustment period at the start of your Tsum Tsum career because the rules of the game aren’t explained in great detail. Lynnette, for example, was the first in our family to play it. A few days later, I gave it a try and asked Lynnette how to play. She offered some nebulous details that didn’t really help at all. Two days later, two students explained the game to me in greater detail. Considering these two students have yet to achieve a high school diploma and Lynnette owns two college degrees, I think my wife purposely kept me in the dark to prevent me from surpassing her.

Do I need to collect all the Tsum Tsums?

No. Each Tsum has a special ability which can be accessed once their meter on the bottom left of the screen is filled. This is accomplished by bursting a certain number of those particular Tsums. The high-scorers on my list seem to use Maleficent, Tinkerbell, and Elsa.

But what if I like the idea of collecting things in general? Won’t that mean the game will never end?

Me too. Yes.

Will I become addicted to this game?

It depends on how you define “addiction”. If by “addiction” you mean “planning parts of your schedule around playing Tsum Tsum” or “ignoring your child’s pleas for attention,” then YES.

"Don't bother me, dads!"

“Don’t bother me, dads!”

"Don't bother me, Phil!"

“Don’t bother me, Phil!”

Will said addiction negatively affect my personal relationships?

Not if your entire family plays together. Since all three of the humans in my house play the game, it has become a shared experience. We are all able to relate our experiences to one another. The game does not have a “versus” mode, even though Madison considers playing simultaneously as such. In fact, she damned near broke my heart the other day when she said “Dad, I want to vs. (pronounced “verse”) you right now.” I informed her that no such word exists, no matter what kids at her school say, and that a better word would be “challenge.” It has brought us closer together. Case in point: when Lynnette had earned enough scratch to buy a new Tsum Tsum, she and Madison at together for the unveiling. BAYMAX!!!! They both screamed at the top of their lungs when the portly personal health care provider appeared on the screen. It scared the hell out of Abby and me. But I mean, if your question really meant Will this game create a scenario where it sit with other people and none of us say anything to each other because we’re all staring at our screens playing the game? Then yeah, OK, maybe it might have a tiny negative affect on your relationships. But let’s be honest, you were going to do that anyway.

After extended game play, is it normal for me to see the Tsum Tsum screen when I shut my eyes?

Yes! Top-tier athletes call this “active visualization.”

Are there any negative physical side-effects to extended game play?

In the interest of full disclosure, I will admit that A) I have probably worn off a portion of the fingerprint on my right index finger, B) my shoulders hurt because I spend the last 30 minutes of consciousness every night with my phone propped up in front of my face while in a prone position, C) I get the needles in my elbows because of the aforementioned position, and D) the muscles of my left hand (used to hold the phone) are nearly fixed to the point that my hand resembles classic G.I. Joe “Kung-Fu Grip.”

Are there any negative psychological side-effects to extended game play?

I get kind of jealous of people above me on my friends list. I start wondering how the hell they achieved such success. I spend time trying to envision a scenario in which I could score in the multiple millions. I fail at imagining such a scenario. I then question whether or not it’s because they use boosts or their level is higher. That feeling of just not being very good at Tsum Tsum starts to creep in. My thoughts grow dark. Why am I playing this game if I suck at it? What if I am never able to reach such greats heights? Maybe Tony Hawk mastery is good enough. Is it good enough? Do you want to quit playing, Phil? You panty. That’s right. You got hearts, just a few more games. One more. Frick. Last one. No, really, this is it. K, just five more minutes, then it’s ten o’clock. I only have three hearts left, might as well just play them out. Oh, someone gave me a heart, I have to play it, then. What the hell, it’s 10:45! But other than that, no, not really.

Should I play Tsum Tsum?

Yes! ADD ME AND SEND ME HEARTS, YOU CLOWN.

Bonus video:

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