Baby Expo (The Toyota Sienna is My Destiny)

You all know that Lynnette loves her Blaisdell Exhibition Hall Expos. Prior to yesterday, I had been able to avoid the Baby Expo and the Wedding Expo (since 2006, anyway), but none of the others. Lynnette has built-in excuses reasons for wanting to attend all the others like “I want to see all the food and new products!” (The Food and New Products Expo) and “I want to support local!” (The Made in Hawaii Expo). Well, since we’re expecting again, she has a legitimate excuse reason to go to the Baby Expo. I’ll admit it, I wanted to go to, just so I could see the all of the new advancements in baby technology. Yes, I could have done this on Pinterest, but still. Any time you can pay $6 for parking and $5.50 a head for admission, you have to do it.

Upset of the Year alert!

Upset of the Year alert!

For those of you who don’t know, my brother Matty and his wife Tanya (Tanz for the initiated) are expecting their first child this fall. I KNOW! We made plans to meet them at the Baby Expo. On our way to the Blaisdell, Lynnette wondered aloud You think your mom is coming today? I quickly called Matty. Tanya answered. “Is mom with you guys?” I asked. “No, but dad is,” she said. “WHAAAAAT?” I said. My mom was sick and Lynnette wondered if my mom had sent my father as an emissary on a fact-finding mission. It turns out Al came of his own volition. I forgot. He loves kids, especially his kids’ kids. So yeah.

The plan is to trade in all four of our cars, then buy one of these bad boys, then figure out the sharing later. We're not good at planning things.

The plan is to trade in all four of our cars, then buy one of these bad boys, then figure out the sharing later. We’re not good at planning things.

The Baby Expo was a bust! Perhaps I was expecting too much, but other than free food samples, I was sorely disappointed. I suppose logic would dictate that companies with brick-and-mortar stores wouldn’t bring their entire inventory to the Blaisdell; also, people probably aren’t going to buy a stroller or car seat at the Blaisdell. Yes, I should have figured this out before paying any kind of money to anyone. Sigh. I suppose the morning wasn’t a total loss, though. Matty and I got to crawl around the inside of a Toyota Sienna. It’s entirely possible that I’ll have to seriously consider a mini-van should things unfold the way I envision them. My desire to own a mini-van is zero. Less than zero. Matty, Paul, and I grew up in a mini-van and perhaps my desire to avoid actually owning one is based on that life experience. I don’t know. What I do know, though, is that the dream of dodging a mini-van is starting to feel like inexorable destiny, just like my failed attempt to be a business major and my quest to marry a woman who is nothing like my mom. Werp, werp, werp.

I didn't have the heart to tell him we didn't see his movie.

I didn’t have the heart to tell him we didn’t see his movie.

The best part of the day was watching Lynnette and Tanya wander across the exhibition hall floor. Lynnette and Tanya were like pregnant mantra rays scooping up discounts, samples, and baby goodies like krill in the open ocean. I mean that in the nicest way possible. They were signing up for everything and I have no doubt that both will be flooded with spam in their inboxes starting tomorrow morning. The hope is that one or both of them win enough to offset that inconvenience. I’m so excited for both of them. It really is too bad that my mom wasn’t able to join us. I have no doubt that there would be much more story to tell. I also have no doubt that we’d have walked out with only the trendiest baby carrier on the market because Karen loves her grandchildren more than her actual children. I know this because Madison has never once bathed in the basin outside their house, next to the washing machine.

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