Proud (but not sticker-on-the-car-proud) Parent of a Citizen of the Quarter

I’m not sure what this means, but I sure am excited.

When I got home from work late yesterday afternoon an excited Madison was waiting for me. She was jumping up and down at the top of the stairs shouting. “Dad, dad! There’s a message for you!” “Hold on, Madison,” Lynnette’s voice said. “I have something to read you!” Madison shouted. “Let him read it!” Lynnette’s voice said. Madison handed me a piece of paper and did that thing where she’s so excited, the only way for her to expel the energy is to sprint away. She launched herself into the couch next to Lynnette. I opened the paper at the fold and read:

I don't even really know what this means.

I don’t even really know what this means.

“Citizen of the Quarter, huh?” I said. I hugged her. “I’m so proud of you,” I said. “What does it mean that you’re a Citizen of the Quarter?” I asked her. “It means I’m a quality producer,” she said. I’m not entirely sure she knows what that means. I don’t really know what it means and it made the idea of Citizen of the Quarter even more nebulous to me. I looked up at Lynnette who wore a proud, smug smile and little else.

Lynnette is once again in the phase of pregnancy where she’s discarded her dignity like an ill-fitting pair of jeans. Literally. My wife lounges around the house dressed like Princess Leia on Jabba’s cruiser, but she looks more like- Editor’s Note: In an attempt to preserve Phil’s marriage, I have taken the liberty of redacting the punchline of his joke.

ANYWAY, I am pleased that my school year will have already ended by the time the ceremony is to take place on the 1st. If this award has anything to do with her being a solid contributing member of society, then I don’t think I could be happier. Congrats, Madison!!!


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