This is Not Summer Weather, Summer Weather Gods!

I know I’ve got just a little more of summer vacation left. The weather since Friday hasn’t exactly been conducive to carpeing the remains of summer. What the hell was that this weekend? I don’t like resorting to the AC because of the way it affects our electricity bill, but the last three days made me grateful to even have the option. We basically ran it for three straight days. When we stopped by my parents’ house on Sunday (to play with Maggie), I couldn’t believe how hot it was in there. How did I ever live there? How does my family still live there? It’s so hot in that house that if I won a bazillion dollars, having AC installed in their home is one of the first things I’d do. The heat finally relented yesterday, but the cost was rain. Even as I type, I can see strands of rain glistening in the bright sunlight. I don’t get Hawaii weather, but then again, it’s better than having to purchase summer clothes and winter clothes.

Again, how it is that Lynnette married me is one of those all-time unsolved mysteries and deserves to be included as a question in New Radicals' "Someday We'll   Know.".

Again, how it is that Lynnette married me is one of those all-time unsolved mysteries and deserves to be included as a question in New Radicals’ “Someday We’ll Know.”.

The inhospitable weather has forced adjustments to our summer schedule. There would be no playgrounds or beaches or pools. Instead, I’ve spent a shameful portion of the last three days playing Pokemon X in a quest for Shiny Pokemon. Shiny Pokemon are (Editor’s Note: I’ve redacted this portion of Phil’s explanation of “Shiny Pokemon” and the subsequent lengthy and needlessly verbose discourse he wrote in order to explain how he’s gone about trying to “hunt” – his term – these rare Pokemon. I believe I am acting in his best interest, to protect whatever dignity he has remaining. He says he knows it’s just a game, and he said he can quit any time he wants.) so you really need a lot of Max Repels.

Bungee Jumpah!

Bungee Jumpah!

We headed over to Pearlridge to cross a summer requirement off the list. The mall that I grew up in always has some kind of activity going on in its center during the summer. Sometimes it’s butterflies. Sometimes, it’s dinosaurs. You might even get a train that’s totally different from the one they run out there during Christmas. This summer, you get a bunch of interactive displays; some of them are free, some of them cost about the same as a plate lunch.

The line for the bungee jumper didn’t look very bad, but I was misled. We arrived at 11 and were told that the earliest opening was at 12:30. Mad and I ate lunch then walked around the mall. We passed Body & Mind Spa which offered chair massages, $1 per minute. “I deserve this” I muttered. Incidentally, this is what people in my family say when we can’t come up with legitimate reasons to fulfill our desires but oh, what the hell.

After the quickest 15 minutes in my life, we hit up the bungee jumper. You’ve probably seen variations of this set-up before: huge steel arms holding super-strong rubber bands attached to a harness. Madison made boasts about doing backflips and throwing out “flat shakas”. You know the ones. I am a successful father. Anyway, once she actually got on the jumper, her story changed. It wasn’t the height that derailed her enjoyment as I thought it might. Apparently, the harness dug into her chest on the way down. I’ll give her credit. She didn’t ask out of the thing, I’d like to think she knows that I’d have killed her. She was right. I am a successful father.

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