Lynnette brought the twins with her to the beach with Madison and me today. That’s pretty rare, but then when you throw in an appearance by Abby, we’re talking about once-in-a-blueish-moon range.
I hope I’m not breaking any confidences here, but I want you to know one of the reasons I love pregnant Lynnette. As soon as she gets home, she takes off whatever bottoms she’s wearing and disappears into the bedroom. A few moments later, she emerges from the bedroom in a tank top and just the underwear. She looks like a WWE superstar and I LOVE IT. Now that I’ve revealed one of her secrets, I’ll reveal one of mine. Sometimes when she’s dressed in this way, I’ll say something kind-of, sort-of inflammatory in hopes that she’ll start talking back to me. It’s the best when she gets animated and is slightly irked because in my head I imagine that she’s cutting a sick promo on me: What did you say? You try carrying two children in your stomach! It’s hot, OK? I HATE WAISTBANDS, OK? I want to answer back, but how the hell do you argue with that? Any of it?
I have told you that story at great personal risk to my own health because I didn’t realize how big Lynnette’s tummy has gotten. I’ve had to remind Madison frequently that there are some activities we won’t be able to to do because Lynnette can’t join us. If Madison doesn’t understand, she’s doing a great job of faking it. She’s disappointed, but gets over it quickly. Today when she and I were in the water and Lynnette and Abby were sitting in the tent, I asked her “Isn’t everything better when Mem comes with us?” She agreed that it was, then added that it was also more fun when Abby came along, too. I give the Goob credit; she can be moody and selfish, but her favorite thing in the world is everyone being together. Today was one of those great days.
I think Abby absolutely loves the idea of coming out with us – right up until the moment she realizes we’ve parked at a beach. I am not a dog whisperer, but I think this is what her internal monologue sounds like during the car ride:
please be a hike please be a hike please be a hike please be a hike please be a hike please be a hike please be a hike please be a hike please be a hike please be a hike please be a hike please be a hike please be a hike please be a hike nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
She enjoys the shade and sand. She even tried to rush the water today, but it’s like as soon as the water hits her, she remembers exactly why she hates the beach in the first place. Lynnette and I hope that more exposure to the beach will somehow acclimate her to it, somehow lead her to enjoy it. The claw marks on my shoulders and stomach would indicate otherwise. Still, she’s a great sport, as you will see.
Lynnette took a vacation day for tomorrow to spend one last day of summer with Madison and me. We don’t know what we’re going to do, but you can bet your life savings it will involve air conditioning and/or a body of water. We will make plans immediately following the posting of this entry.
But first, here is some bonus footage of Abby riding a wave into the shore. “She’s gonna make a run for it,” Lynnette said as I pushed the board forward. “She’s not going to run,” I said. A few beats passed. “Oh, shit, she’s going to run,” I said. “Watch your language!” Madison said.
I was glad I didn’t have to lay out to grab the leash. I have finally learned to avoid that if at all possible. The lesson: sometimes, your woman is right. But when they are right, they will store those moments away for a later date to use as evidence that they are always right. Pro-tip: Just blurt out “Small sample size!” or “Confirmation bias!”. You might end up on the couch, but those precious seconds of heaven while she stands there flustered looking for a logical answer, before realizing there isn’t one are priceless.