Lynnette’s Maternity Leave: Projects Involving Fake Animals

We’re exactly a week into Lynnette’s maternity leave and maybe you’ve been wondering what she’s been up to with all of that free time she’s got. No? Maybe it’s just me, then.

6First and foremost, Lynnette has more time to create delicious meals for dinner. Earlier this week she made a beef stew that was so good it nearly made me weep. While it didn’t make me cry, it did make me overeat. Still, the discomfort and time-delayed stomach evacuation were well worth the two bowls of deliciousness I experienced. Lynnette’s making chicken noodle soup from scratch tonight. She’s walking around the kitchen in a top and no shorts like CM Punk once strolled to the wrestling ring, but instead of making someone go to sleep, she’s making dinner. Which is, like, way better. Oddly, the rest of her maternity leave centers on fake animals.

1Though she started this project weeks ago, she finally finished her Pikachu knitting project this past week. When she posted a picture of her handy work on Instagram, one of her aunts asked Lynnette if she was selling them, and if she was, then her aunt would take two. Lynnette politely declined to sell Pikachu because it would take her from now until December to make two more. And that’s without newborn twins. Madison and I were pretty impressed why this yarn Pikachu, and we’ve clamored for Oshawott next. But considering the advent of the twins and the holidays, she might be making that Oshawott for Madison’s high school graduation.

23Besides, Lynnette loves projects too much to make another Pokemon. Now that she’s accomplished her goal, she will have lost all interest in the knitting or whatever and will move on to whatever Pinterest-y project is next in her queue. I guess it’s nesting because she spent the day noodling around in the twins’ room. Two weeks ago she asked if she should make the twins’ beds. I argued against it, saying the would be dusty by the time the kids arrived. Well, two weeks later, she didn’t bother asking and set up both cribs with sheets, padding, and stuffed animals. Owla is resting comfortably, checking out her new digs in Robyn’s crib while Freddie Fox is pretty smug about living in Maurice’s crib which features sheets…featuring his likeness. What a clown.

4Not all of the false animals in our house are happy, however. Chee Willy had been living in Maurice’s crib since we put it together, but obviously, there’s no room for him there now. We’ve pretty much maxed out the space in our home, and once the twins actually show up and we start pulling things like playpens and bouncers out, we’re not going to have any space at all. I tried my best to explain all of this the Chee Willy, but he was inconsolable. Even Flat Madison tried to pat our inflatable orca’s nose so as to soothe its shattered heart, but it was no use. There would be no woo-wooing on this day.

5I am so sorry, Chee Willy. There weren’t many places that we could put you. We had to figure out a spot where you could rest without having to be moved every time we needed access to a room, closet, etc. I promise we’ll pull you down soon and take you to a shallow beach somewhere. For now, don’t let Freddie Fox and Owla get you down. They’re the ones who are going to have to listen to babies crying 24/7.

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