Update on the Twins: Taking Their Sweet Time

Well, that’s one way to spend a Sunday night.

My best friend!

My best friend!

We arrived at Kapiolani at 8 PM last night and the staff induced labor. I assumed that this process would somehow expedite the arrival of the twins but I was wrong. It only started a long and calculated process that went on through the night and into this morning. At 2 in the morning I was kicked out of my bed/chair so Lynnette could get some pain-killing drugs. I was a mess. I leaned against the wall and tried to play a game on my phone. What the hell was I thinking? The entire thing lasted 5 minutes, but it felt like a modest eternity until I was let back into the room to resume my sleep.

Not even trying.

Not even trying.

I didn’t bother to put my contacts in or re-do my hair. I just wet both hands and tried to smush the hair over to the right side. Then, when I was finished, I looked into the mirror, and like I have uttered a million before, I smirked and said “Good enough.” I threw on the glasses and walked into the hospital corridors in zombie-mode to get some breakfast. There was the faint sound of kids screaming coming from somewhere. Everything has that hospital smell. I haven’t been outside since we checked in. As of this moment, my greatest fear is running into anyone I know. This isn’t a good accounting of my myself.

Vegas, baby!

Vegas, baby!

Lynnette’s labor ran into the morning and afternoon. I watched Swingers over breakfast, then watched Mocking Jay Part I with Lynnette this morning. “We go take one nap,” she said. So I turned off all the lights, opened the curtains a little, and went back to sleep. It was just like those weekends in college when we’d party so hard the night before that we’d sleep well into the following afternoon, then wake up in a stupor without the slightest idea what time it was. Usually, the sun was already on its way down. It’s a good thing Madison went to school today because there’s no way she would have assented to napping so frequently. “I’m bored,” she would have said about a billion times. It would have been a horrible atmosphere for the twins to be born in. Also, I need to eat something from not the cafeteria. I fell for the fridge sushi. I stand by my choice. But didn’t enjoy it.

Gorgeous no matter what.

Gorgeous no matter what.

Lynnette’s water broke at 3:30 PM. She’s handled all of this so gracefully. In perhaps the greatest stroke of irony I have ever witnessed, she’s been on an ice-chip diet since she checked in last night. It would seem that she’s entered into an Ice Age of her own.

Hopefully the twins are on their way. I can’t wait to meet them and immediately call them clowns and put them on time out for pulling a false alarm twice. Hopefully in the next few hours, I’ll have a few pictures for you all. But for right now, we’re still in this holding pattern which has driven me to take prolonged naps on an uncomfortable bed/chair, and gorge myself with way too much unsatisfying food.


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