Last night and early this morning were the worst of their kind since the twins joined our family. It might have been the moon, maybe the tide, I don’t know, some kind of celestial alignment or something. Cole and Avery decided – probably together – that they simply would not go to sleep. Everything was fine through the 8 PM feeding. We woke them up for the 11 PM feeling and it was the same as ever until after the burping. Cole was fussy and gassy. Avery wasn’t as bad, but also simultaneously worse. Neither of them slept at all from 11 PM to 2 AM. Every time I looked down at Avery her eyes were wide open, and once I swear she was dropping the frickin’ People’s Eyebrow at me, just to drive the point home. I have no photographic evidence of this time period because I was too angry.
I woke up just after 8 AM and called my parents for help. Lynnette had even less sleep than I did and I knew it would virtually impossible for us to do anything without help. My parents graciously agreed to come over. My parents even bought lunch in the form of sushi. I would have cried tears of joy if my eyes were working correctly.
Lynnette was able to get a nap in. I finished the laundry and tidied up the house. I even caught a 40-minute nap before Madison’s game. My mom and dad were great with the kids who were somehow little angels! Charlatans! Traitors! My mom kept remarking on Avery’s behavior and calm demeanor as she rested in my mother’s arms. “Don’t let her fool you,” I said. “That’s how she gets you!” She’s going to be trouble.
These last three nights reminded me of the first time, when Madison was a newborn. At some point this morning when I was delirious I said to Lynnette “How did we ever think Madison was hard?” “I know!” she whispered. “I was thinking the same thing the other night, too!” I had forgotten the way it feels to have your day chopped up into 8 individual slices of cleaning, feeding, burping, and praying that the kids behave immediately afterward. I forgot what it feels like to never quite get to 100% capacity, to go into things knowing that my brain has maxed out its RAM and everything is going to lag.
Mom and Dad,
Thanks for helping us out today. I am pretty sure that Lynnette and I could have gotten through today without you, but I am glad we didn’t have to. I knew that if you could help, you would come, like you always do for Matty and Paul and me. It’s what the two of you do. I am so glad that Madison, Cole, and Avery will also know your unfaltering love. I love you.
Your oldest and still best looking son,