Update on the Twins: Free to Explore the World!

The twins are essentially six weeks old and are now free to roam about the earth like the rest of us humans. Except they can’t do any of the actual roaming themselves so they have to be carted or carried around by Lynnette and me. Let me tell you, I didn’t miss the stroller-era of child-raising at all.

1

The stroller frame cost $80 shipped from Walmart. It is not sexy but it does the job and is uncomplicated so obviously it and I have bonded.

We tried to finish up our Christmas shopping at Ala Moana this morning. Prior to this, we’ve taken the twins out, but hidden them under blankets. We had also never fed them outside of our home. Well, we took the kid gloves off today. We fed them twice on benches placed around the mall and they got sun in their  faces when I didn’t have the good sense to start pushing the stroller on the shaded side of the mall and it was too crowded to make that adjustment. They seem pretty okay, though. Aside: Lynnette, Madison, and I watched Star Wars: The Force Awakens yesterday and I was underwhelmed. Disappointed, even. Still, I like to think the highlight of Lynnette’s day was when I somehow decided against buying one of those $30 progressive light-up lightsabers. I like to think the highlight of the twins’ day was when I started swerving the stroller and making “pew-pew” noises. “What are you doing?” Lynnette asked. “I told them it’s an X-Wing,” I said. “Great,” Lynnette said. “All the other strollers are the First Order,” I said. “That’s terrible,” Lynnette said. “All the single-passenger strollers are TIE Fighters,” I said. “Oh, okay,” Lynnette said, with an air of approval.

2

“How can I infuriate my father today? Oh! First, I won’t look at the camera! And then I’ll subtly flip mom off!” -Avery Rio

3

“Oh, I know her! This the lady with the boobies!” -Cole Joseph

The first true test of our return to infant children skills was lunch at Macaroni Grill. The restaurant was able to accommodate us by providing a table with enough space to park the stroller right next it. Avery and Cole were quiet right up until the food arrived and so once again, Lynnette and I had to do that thing I always hated. I ate my food as quickly as possible to Lynnette would be able to eat her food while it might still be considered warm. We got lucky. Only Avery was wide awake during the meal and as you can see here, she brought her A-game, middle finger and all. Really, though, she was great. She was quiet and seemed thrilled to be seated at the Human Food Eaters Table (H-FET). Cole woke up some time later was was crass as ever, announcing his presence with authority, informing us that he should also like a pasta dish despite a complete lack of teeth. This picture her of him nestled in Lynnette’s arms is frickin’ hilarious because 1) everyone says he looks exactly like me and it’s getting harder and harder to deny it, and 2) I assume this is exactly what I look like when I’m eyeing up Lynnette, too.

4

I guess she earned Big Sister Treats today.

Madison’s continued to serve as a clutch, key, and huge Big Sister. She held open doors, pressed elevator buttons, and carried various items over the course of our excursion today. She didn’t get horribly bent out of shape when it became obvious we would not be able to hit up Nitrogenie as originally planned. Instead, she was treated to a peppermint gelato which she devoured quickly. She told me that she is excited for the break for a number of reasons, and here they are in no particular order. Well, number 1 is obviously number 1, but you get the idea:

  1. No bedtime.
  2. Everyone is home together.
  3. There’s a break from dance, too.
  4. There’s no homework, dad!
  5. There’s no school.
  6. Christmas is only ____ days away, dad!

Today was but the first of many adventures the five of us will have together. “Pretty soon, you’re going to have to tell the lady ‘table of five’, dad,” Madison said as we sat in Macaroni Grill. Crazy.

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