Lynnette and I saved up some money so we could celebrate our 10-year anniversary by doing something special. We should be should be recovered financially in time to consider the celebration of our 20th wedding anniversary.
We took the 1-hour horseback ride at Kualoa Ranch on Saturday morning. I came to this idea because I know that Lynnette used to ride horseback when she was much younger. She was excited when I told her while I was nervous. I had never been atop a horse before.
Any movie that features human beings gracefully maneuvering along with horses is BS. Holo Holo, my first horse, had to be swapped out because he was “lame” according to one of the hands at the stable. I suppose it’s possible that he really did have a sore foot, but it’s more likely that he felt me on the saddle and was all “Nah,” then started limping to get out of it. My second horse, Kalanakila, also hated me. He wouldn’t move at first. Then, when we did start moving, he peeked back at me every so often with his critical horse eye. He even bit my shoe a couple of times when we were stopped. “This is not going to end well,” I whispered to myself But somehow it did.
Lynnette’s horse wasn’t nearly as much trouble though he did once decide to go rogue by trotting a few feet deep into the brush to grab a snack of grass. I have a newfound respect for these animals. I often throw around phrases like “he’s a workhorse” and I need to piss “like a race horse” but before yesterday had no idea of the literal sides of the comparisons I was making. Now I do. It’s a lot of piss. Lynnette would like to go back for the two-hour ride someday. I don’t know about that. But for now, Lynnette and I will always have those views of Kaneohe and also the pain in my knees, thighs, groin, and ass cheeks.
I made reservations at the Waikiki Parc which stands just a few feet away from the Halekulani, the site of our wedding and reception. It would have been amazing if we could have stayed at the Halekulani, but I don’t know how we would have decided which of the twins to sell in order to make it happen.
The view from our room was gorgeous (though not as beautiful as my wife, AM I RIGHT?) and the room did not stir too many complaints from Lynnette. Her feelings about the hotel room made me more anxious than the horse ride; Lynnette has insanely high standards for her lodging and just about everything else in life which once again accentuates the high level or improbability attached to having her marry me in the first place.
We got into the water for about an hour. Like sub-par hotel rooms, Waikiki Beach is among the many things Lynnette has strong negative feelings for. She prefers the cleaner waters of the North Shore to Waiks and Ala Moana. It was awesome to be at the beach without constantly having to scan the area for my kids. When I mentioned this fact to Lynnette she agreed. This kicked off a conversation about Madison, Cole, and Avery that stretched for about 15 minutes before I pointed out that we were talking about them again, like we always do when we’re away from them – no matter how much we say we’d like a break. “They’re just our lives now,” Lynnette said before I gave her the Tentacruel wrap.
We ate an early dinner at Kobe Steakhouse. We had acquired enough gift cards to have quite the feast, and feast we did. Usually, Lynnette would have demanded we dine at a hipper, more modern restaurant, but that would come later. We left Kobe while it was still light out and headed back to the hotel. We planned to walk the strip together- maybe do some light shopping – but what we ended up doing was a thousand times better.
We basically played Pokemon Go all night while walking through Waikiki. Truth be told: I’m not entirely sure how to play the game yet. I still haven’t been to a gym and don’t understand what to do there. But for now, Lynnette and I don’t care. All we care about is collecting as many Pokemon as possible.
We strode through the Royal Hawaiian Center and I caught 4 Pokemon that failed to appear at all on Lynnette’s screen. “Are you on the WI-FI?” she asked. “No, LTE,” I replied. She swore, then dropped the WI-FI. As amazing as our Pokemon journey through the streets of Waikiki was, it was also the most embarrassing point of the weekend. Our friend Trisha caught us on the Beachwalk with our noses in our phones. “Hey Phil! Hey Lynnette!” she shouted. I looked up from my phone and my head was on a swivel. Where had that noise come from? We caught her just as she past us. “Hey, Trisha!” I said back. She wished us a happy anniversary. That was so great and I think it illustrates the degree to which Pokemon Go has taken over our lives and also possibly destroyed our data plans.
Now, the highlight of Lynnette’s weekend came earlier this morning. “Hey,” she said coyly a few weeks ago. “Yes?” I said. “Since we’re staying in Waikiki, do you think we can eat Sunday brunch at Orchids?” she asked. “Yeeeeeees,” I said, turning back to the computer to make reservations. “Yesssssss!” she said before advising me on what time I should set the reservation.
Lynnette and I waddled out of the Halekulani on the way back to the van. Driving west along H1, I knew that our self-imposed celebratory exile would soon be over. Avery has a fever. She’s cruising around the living room wearing a damp towel atop her head to stay cool. I have to do the laundry. At some point, Madison and I will split a Red Baron’s pizza that I will have to bake on plates that I will have to wash. This is our life now. But, for 24 hours, it was wonderful to exist in an alternate universe inhabited by only me, Lynnette, and a bunch of AR Pokemon.
Happy Anniversary, Love! I hope you enjoyed the weekend as much as I did. I have a vague idea what the next 10 years will look like – pre-school and puberty and middle school and graduation and college preparation – and I am terrified. I’m so glad that you’ll be right by my side so we can figure that stuff out together. I love you.
*I can’t finish this entry without thanking our families. My parents watched the kids on Saturday morning. Lynnette’s parents and aunt and uncle watched them from the afternoon until we returned home this morning. Our families have always been so generous with their time, energy, and support. Our Anniversary weekend – like so many things in our life – would have been impossible without their help. Thank you all!