Lynnette and I endured the most challenging lunch of our lives today. We were seated in a long booth at Macaroni Grill. Rather than boosters or high chairs – which wouldn’t have kept the twins in check anyway – we decided to box them into the corners of the booth. Lynnette had Cole and I took Avery.
We might have to request the long booth everywhere we go. The biggest benefit was that we were able to push all of the plates, drinks, and silverware down toward Madison’s side of the table and still managed to be comfortable. The only thing near the four of us were the menus. I tried to read the menu as it lay flat on the table but Avery wasn’t having any of that. Then again, I knew I was going to order lasagna as soon as I stepped into the restaurant. Scanning the menu was just a formality. I hoped that maybe if we tossed a bunch of puffs and mum-mums on the table, Cole and Avery might just prop themselves up against the side of the tables and have a cocktail hour or something. Nope. They wanted to crawl and climb and tear paper off the table.
The food came out quickly but we weren’t able to immediately eat. When Madison was a baby, Lynnette would feed Mad while I ate as quickly as possible. Then, we’d switch; I’d burp Madison while Lynnette ate. It was textbook zone coverage – Lynnette on the underneath routes with me protecting against the deep throws. We can’t do that now – even though Madison has transitioned into an extra defender – because she takes an ice age to eat her meal. It’s press-man coverage with no safety help. So we did the only thing that made sense: gave them mum-mums and ate as quickly as we could while they were busy stuffing their faces, too.
Eventually, we tossed a couple of plastic containers on the table and that captured their attention long enough for us to finish our meals. Considering that neither of the twins rolled off the bench onto the floor beneath the table, managed to acquire a fistful of food, spilled a drink, successfully crawled completely onto the table, or smacked their heads on the table or the wall, lunch was a resounding success!
But wait, it got better! Five minutes after we put them in the stroller and left the restaurant, both of them fell asleep. They just wanted to make sure we consumed our lunch with the highest level of difficulty before taking an afternoon nap. A short while after that, an older woman stopped us as we walked through Ala Moana. “Twins?” she asked. “Yes,” I said. “One boy, one girl?” she asked. “Yes,” I said. But what I really wanted to say was “No, two trolls.”