The Story of a Random 24 Hours

The following series of events is precipitated by a single fact: mid-quarter grades are due Monday morning.

21I stayed late after school yesterday to do some grading and was told that we would be celebrating my father-in-law’s birthday at Outback in Waipio. You have no idea how incredible news like this when you’re sitting in your classroom two hours after classes have ended. I left work a little after 5 because dinner was at 6:30 and you never know with the H1. Traffic was light! I had time to stop off at Waikele to buy a new belt (the old one was chipping, I didn’t out grow it, you clowns) before heading over to Outback.

When Lynnette, Madison, Cole, and Avery finally got to Outback, it was dark out. Avery was asleep. Cole was screaming. It was too close to their bedtime. I walked Cole around the outside of the restaurant and he calmed after a few minutes of me repeatedly asking him where the lights were. He pointed in the general direction of the lampposts. We walked into the restaurant. We sat. We ordered. We fed Cole snacks. He drank half his bottle. Then, he got cranky.

I had forgotten, how difficult it can be to enjoy a meal when you also have to deal with a fussy baby. Cole was beginning to get wild and if Avery woke up, she’d likely do the same. I decided that it was the best interest of everyone in the restaurant if I just took the twins home. So that’s what I did.

You ever watch a movie where the twist is so obvious that you see it coming from a mile away and you spend that mile getting close to the twist and hoping that you’re wrong? Right, just like The Force Awakens! Well, anyway, that twist happened last night because Cole and Avery were wide awake when we got home. They weren’t interested in bottles or snacks, but instead seemed genuinely thrilled to be up at 8, then 8:30, and then 9. I tried to let them play it out, then I tried half-lights, then went with no lights and that resulted only in the three of us sitting in the living room in darkness with two of us making babbling noises like echolocation.

When Lynnette finally got home she put Avery to bed and I tried to put Cole to bed. I remember asking Lynnette to tell Madison to hurry up in the shower. That was at 9:22 PM. The very next thing that happened was me shooting up in my bed looking for Cole (in the playpen) and seeing Lynnette asleep beside me. It was 11:18. It was late. I had not showered. My contacts were still in. I lurched to the bathroom, took my contacts out, then took a leak. I turned over face the tub. “Screw it,” I said. I walked back to bed and set my alarm to 4:30 AM, 15 minutes earlier than the usual to account for the shower.

Additionally, I started developing a stye under my left eyelid Wednesday morning. It was made worse by napping with the contacts. As soon as I woke up this morning I knew I’d have to wear glasses to work today. There are 3 very specific downsides to wearing glasses to work:

  1. I cannot wear sunglasses while driving home from work.
  2. Eventually, they irritate the bridge of my nose and the sides of my fat head.
  3. It increases my resemblance to a fellow English teacher that students are already referring to as my “son” and “BFF”.

To my dismay, all of these aspects came into play today. And I still have those assignments to grade, those letters of recommendation to write. But, but, but. I had an amazing dinner of leftovers. And tomorrow is a Friday during which Pokemon Sun and Moon will be released. Things are looking up, baby. I hope I will be able to look up at them with contacts on.


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