Lynnette’s got a running list of LuLaRoe leggings she’s been trying to acquire since she became a full-blown LuLaRoe addict. This list is a more specific, apparel-related version of the list that she has for real life (of which she has checked off “home in Mauka”, “
Highlander Sienna”, and “multiple children”). She picked up four new LuLaRoe pieces in the last 24 hours. She just tried on three new pairs of leggings in the kitchen. Were I a lesser man, I would have been distracted by her interminable hotness, I would have failed to complete this entry. But I am not a lesser man.
Lynnette’s been on the hunt for this ninja pair for some time. My co-worker shot me a picture of them on Thursday night because I asked her to stay on the lookout for ninjas. “Is this the one?” my co-worker asked. I showed the picture to Lynnette and she erupted in the Daniel Bryan chant. “I’ll have your money tomorrow,” I replied. She LOLed. That made one of us. I had the pair of leggings waiting for Lynnette when she got home Friday afternoon. You know, a few minutes before we drove into Waipahu to check out a LuLaRoe home show.
The coolest thing about LuLaRoe is that there isn’t a limit on the location or the number of times you can come across a vendor or consultant. It’s basically a never-ending network of people who sell similar-but-not-necessarily-identical pieces of clothing, which means that LuLaRoe is a never-ending treasure hunt. There’s never really a promise that Lynnette will find something she likes (unless she’s pre-paid for something), but she likes going anyway. To be clear, I’m not being judgmental. If there were Nike SB consultants stationed all over the island a decade or so ago, I would have dragged Lynnette to random people’s houses too.
Speaking of pre-ordering things, earlier this week Lynnette found another of her desired pairs. They are purple and feature panda bear heads. Some of those heads are wearing sunglasses. I guess. Lynnette just tried them on in the kitchen and said:
“The Vietnam ones run smaller than the ones from Indonesia. The Indonesian ones are super-stretchy. *Tries on purple panda pair* Ooh, I like these Chinese ones.”
This commentary is notable for two reasons. First, it reveals the level of her expertise. It’s more or less how I had memorized most Nike models of shoes and exclusive colorway releases before I had a mortgage and a kid. Second, it is the first time Lynnette has openly admitted to liking anything Chinese since 2003 (when I broke up with my ex-girlfriend).
I was alone in the living room watching a movie when my phone chimed. It was Lynnette, texting from the bedroom.
I just got a message from someone who said she got my donuts in. My mission is complete.
I believe one of those statements is true. I suppose only time will tell. But anyway, Lynnette got her doughnut leggings and of the newest three, they look the best on her. Maybe it’s just because I like Lynnette’s legs and I like food. I don’t know. But I know that I love seeing her smile like this, so I don’t mind if she stays addicted to LuLaRoe a little longer. As long as we don’t have to sell our home.