I’m writing this now because I’m not sure I’ll have the will to do it later, either way.
First, if you were wondering “Wait – did they just cut up 9 month onesies into t-shirts because Phil couldn’t find a reasonable price on any website for 2-day shipping?” then the answer is yes, yes we did. I don’t know why I waited so long to start looking for Cowboys gear for the twins. I should have done it weeks ago once they clinched the playoffs, but then I’m an idiot and I thought to myself “But we haven’t really worn the shirts all year, and what if wearing them jinxes them?” Then, when it became clear Green Bay would travel to Dallas, I thought “They’re going to need us,” because I’m an idiot.
So, I did find clothes in their size, but none of the sites could guarantee delivery by today via standard shipping. The lowest rate I found was $20, so I guess if you’re trying to quantify how much I love the Dallas Cowboys, the answer is “no more than $19.99.” Sad. Lynnette took scissors to the twins’ onesies and turned them into crude t-shirts. Both Cole and Avery have their little pot bellies hanging out from below the bottoms of the shirts, but that’s GOT TO BE GOOD LUCK because they’re rocking their shirts like Zeke Elliott!
Big ups to Lynnette who converted the onesies into t-shirts and wore her own Cowboys t-shirt for the first time this season. More importantly, I should point out that she’s wearing a pair of LuLaRoe leggings that don’t quite match in terms of color – but does because of the stars. Do you know how hard that is for Lynnette to do? She prides herself on three things: 1) Secretly being better at everything than everyone else and whispering that fact to herself, 2) Drawing in her eyebrows perfectly, even when I’m singing booty music hits and dancing accordingly right behind her, and 3) matching her clothes. This sacrifice will not be forgotten, my love.
Finally, Abby is rocking her Dallas Cowboys cheerleader’s outfit after her Cowboys paint job faded into oblivion and holy hell, that better not be a sign of things to come.
“Can you find me a Green Bay shirt, dad?” Madison asked when it became clear Green Bay would travel to Dallas. “Sure,” I said. I meant it, too. Despite the fact that it breaks my heart, I totally support her right to choose her favorite teams. If my dad was a tyrant, I’d be cheering for the Raiders, Lakers, Vikings, and Braves, and I can’t think of a single reason I’d ever want to do that. Aside: OK, yes, I was also very eager to buy Madison a Packers shirt because I HOPED THAT SHE WOULD JINX IT!
If you didn’t know, Madison because a Packers fan after some of them showed up in Pitch Perfect 2. She knows the names “Tony Romo” and “Dez Bryant” but she actually recognizes Clay Matthews. I spent the first 6 years of her life trying to foster in her a love for the Dallas Cowboys and all it took was frickin’ Anna Kendrick and Rebel Wilson to undo it all.
I don’t know what’s going to happen tonight, but one of us is going to be really happy, and the other is going to be really sad. If things go badly, one of us might not want to go to work on Tuesday and the other might have to go to bed right after the game.