Stay-at-Home Dad Mode

Mama had knee surgery today. I am told it went well and our the last update we received informed us that she was playing her favorite casino slots game on her phone, so she must be pretty good. Get well soon, Mama!

This circumstance forced me into my favorite role of stay-at-home dad. I missed out on the annual ACCE conference for Catholic school educators. I promise you I will try my very best not to beat myself up too much for missing that whopper of a good time.

2Cole and Avery ate well during breakfast and about an hour later gifted me with simultaneous morning naps. In terms of rarity, it’s right up there with encountering a shiny Pokemon in the wild and us passing through Aiea without stopping to get a drink from Rainbow Tea House. I took advantage of the fairly lengthy nap to tackle a project I’ve had my eye on for quite a while: cleaning up my bedroom. I popped Heat into the Blu Ray player and went to work. Every once in a while, I walked out into the living room to take a look at the twins. Avery was in a different position every time I peeked, either on her back or rolled over on her side. For reasons I will probably never know, Cole actually prefers to fall asleep with his knees tucked in like this. Sure.

63Lynnette’s going to sell a bunch of stuff at the swap meet during Presidents’ Day weekend. We’ve been slowly packing these items into boxes and bags in preparation for this great purge that is hopefully accompanied by a modest windfall. We have to pay for our bubble drinks somehow, after all. Well, I got rid of some board shorts that don’t fit quite right – they must have shrunk or something – and a few t-shirts. Pictured here is the draw I’ve established exclusively for my dry-fit type shirts. I know some of you were curious, so yes, my Old Navy’s sponsorship of my wardrobe will continue in 2017. We’re both excited to further our relationship.

Not being sold at the swap meet are any of Lynnette’s LuLaRoe leggings. I discovered today that Lynnette has dedicated a plastic storage bin just for cherished leggings. She told me she had taken one of the bins earlier in the week, but either she didn’t tell me what it was for, or she did and I didn’t hear her (I bet the former happened, but she will claim the latter, but don’t tell her I said that). I feel like these two pictures perfectly explain our relationship; we’re alike enough that we’d more or less come to the same conclusion and/or solution to like situations, but our respective actualizations of that conclusion and/or solution is incredibly disparate. Or, in layman’s terms: I’m a slob and she’s not.

54It was idealistic of me to think that I would complete my cleaning project before the twins got up. I was about halfway through when I heard mouse noises coming from the living room.Avery was walking around the play area and looking for human existence. Cole woke up not long after. I Andre the Giant slow-legged over the top of the gate and plopped down with the kids. I tried playing games with them, but it’s nearly impossible to get them engaged in the same thing at the same time unless there’s food involved or Lynnette’s just arrived home.

But, sometimes, Avery climbs onto the couch and flattens out on her back in the corner closest to the wall. Then she kind of just rolls side-t0-side and giggles to herself. Just this week, I caught her doing this and I shouted “Baby!” Then then made my hand into a claw and tickled her chest and stomach. She laughed. It has gotten to the point where all I have to do is shout “Baby!” when she’s in the middle of rolling and she reacts by laughing hysterically. Well, today Cole saw us playing this game, and decided he wanted in on it. He climbed up onto the couch and inserted himself into the game. I raised both arms high over my head and screamed “BABY!!” and brought my hands crashing down to tickle their torsos. We were all screaming a few minutes later. That was the highlight of my day, but only because the I’m not certain the other thing that would have been actually happened.

When Mad got home from school I asked her to watch the twins so I could finish cleaning my room. At some point I heard a small thud and came out to investigate. I found Avery lying on the floor on the wrong side of the play gate. One of the plastic bins behind the couch was strewn about carelessly. “How did Avery get here?” I asked Madison. She looked at her younger sister from the other side of the gate. “I don’t know,” she said. “Geez!” I said. Avery wasn’t crying, she didn’t appear hurt. I put back in the play area and she was upset. I think she actually flipped over the edge of the couch, broke her fall on the plastic bins, then tumbled to the floor. And I also believe the reason she didn’t cry was that she had accomplished her mission. I mean, obviously, I wish it hadn’t happened. But since it probably did I’m kicking myself for having missed it.

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