Valentine’s Day 2017: Totally Not Bad for a Tuesday and No Planning Whatsoever

Important dates have been able to sneak up on me with alarming frequency ever since the twins were born. I’ve just got too much going on. Valentine’s Day is no exception. I bought Lynnette a new purse last week, but had nothing for the actual date. I realized this at 5 in the afternoon yesterday. It was already too late to do something about it then, so I had to pull out the old Phil tricks of flying by the seat of my pants. I feel like I have gotten better at this method of flying over time, as the surface area on the seat of my pants has increased as well. Coincidence? Who’s to say?

3Lynnette messaged me just as I was about to leave campus. She said she bought lobster tails and that I should get something to pair with it. According to Lynnette, the lobster tails were $7 each. She bought four. She just explained her reasoning: “I wasn’t even there [Foodland] to buy the lobster, but once I saw it, I was like (unintelligible growling noise), then said ‘I will buy four – one for you, one for me, one for Goob, and one for Cole and Avery’.” “But you knew Madison wouldn’t eat it, and that Cole and Avery couldn’t eat a whole one by themselves,” I said. She cocked her head back and shook it vigorously. “I didn’t know that,” she said. “Oh, you didn’t want to assume, right?” I said. “Exactly. It’s Valentine’s Day,” she said. This wasn’t even the best thing she said tonight. “I NEVER get to eat two lobster tails!” she said moments before she inhaled some lobster, which was moments before I took this picture. She’s my lobster, guys.

1Madison got a Harry Potter Book and a box of Merci Chocolates. The book is pretty straightforward: she’s really into Harry Potter right now. She’s in the middle of the third book, has Hermione’s wand, and owns a witch’s cloak. The chocolates, though, have a backstory.

Two Christmases ago (I think), we started seeing ads on tv for Merci Chocolates featuring this really horrible song that went something like “You didn’t have to do what you did, but you did, and I want to thank you,” which basically suggested that Merci Chocolates were the go-to gift if one would like to express the sentiment of thanks. This became an in-joke in our house. Whenever Madison would help us out with something, we’d sing the song – “You didn’t have to clean up your room, but you did and you did, and I want to thank you!” Madison would gamely reply “Yes I did, you made me clean my room. And you’re not going to get me the chocolate.” She was so salty. Her reaction was completely devoid of amusement and thus served as endless amusement for Lynnette and me. Well, today she finally got her Merci Chocolate.

2Lynnette got me two dri-fit polo shirts from Old Navy (my personal sponsor) and I might give them a try, but my first reaction is that they bring me a big step – and therefore much too close – to completely becoming a clone of Al Higa. I don’t know if I can do it.

Still, it was hard to be disappointed in dinner which consisted of steak, lobster, and spicy ahi. It was followed by a dessert of chocolate-covered strawberries and Uber Tarts. I am uncomfortably full right now and the only thing I have on my mind is more chocolate-covered strawberries. Give it a few minutes and I am sure I’ll wander off into the kitchen, find my way into the fridge, and totally ignore Abby staring at me like she is in this picture.

45Neither Cole nor Avery received gifts in the form of toys, but they did get in on the lobster and chocolate-covered strawberries party. It might have been the second best day of their lives (the first, obviously, is when Avery came home from the hospital. Their first time eating ice cream cake is a close third, I think).

Cole and Avery clutched their little scraps of lobster and picked pieces off of it before shoving them into their mouths. I think this made Lynnette both happy and sad – happy that she had one more thing in common, one more thing to share with them, but sad that she will likely have less lobster to eat.

The chocolate-covered strawberries were a no-brainer. They love strawberries and the chocolate put it over the top. To my surprise Cole finished his dessert with only a modest chocolate soul patch while Avery left the table with a full-blown chocolate beard. She was a mess.

Finally, the nightcap. I paired a 2017 Coca-Cola with my meal and made Lynnette 2 midori sours. I posted a picture of Lynnette and me in our Oceans days and it reminded me of the drinks she used to order: midori sours, amaretto sours, liquid cocaines on the rocks, and the cheapest tequila available. She used to be an absolute rock star. It’s fitting. All my favorite bands are basically my old favorite bands and I will never love new music the way I love(d) my old music. It’s just a fact of life. Lynnette is the same. She can play all her greatest hits on a loop forever and I’ll still be here, fanboying out of my mind.

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