Happy New Eyebrows Day!

1Yes, the redness about Lynnette’s new eyebrows is blood, likely commingled with sweat from the anxiety of undergoing her first micro-blading, permanent makeup procedure. The tears? Mine. Of joy.

From what I can gather, it’s not quite a tattoo, as the artist uses blades rather than needles, but the results should last for 3 years. I am sorry I cannot tell you more about it because every time I ask Lynnette about it, my eyes glaze over and my brain shuts off about 6 seconds into her explanation. I am not responsible for my inattentiveness, however. I mean, how am I supposed to concentrate without being drawn – nay, rapt! – by these pretty brown eyes and brave new brows.

2Lynnette loves her new brows but I suspect she may not love them as much as I do. “I went the whole day without makeup,” she said. My eyes widened thinking about the possibilities of gaining 20 minutes before leaving the house to go anywhere.

She text messaged me a selfie of her new brows in the middle of the day and my heart skipped a beat. It’s a stranger! It’s my new wife. The next time I kiss her, it will be like kissing someone I don’t know. It’s so exciting! She will sound and smell like my old wife, but if I open my eyes while our lips are locked, I will see eyebrows! Who belongs to these eyebrows? Not so fast, eye brows, I don’t want my wife to find out about us! No, eyebrows, we can’t! I will struggle to pull away, but I will look into those new brows and be hypnotized by the novelty and resulting adrenaline. I will be tugged back. I will fall and fumble against my will, and then my will will be crushed. Except I don’t know when the next time we’ll kiss is if she reads this.

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