Some of the Twins’ New Fascinations

The twins are still at an age at which their choices are both unpredictable and inexplicable. During the past two weeks, Cole and Avery have picked up some new habits that I am thrilled to relay to you.

12Cole’s favorite toy is a plastic hashbrown. Its shape leads me to believe it came from a McDonald’s set of faux food. Sure, Cole is distracted by other toys like the new kazoo and by things that make noise, but he always seems to find his way back to the hashbrown. His relationship with his favorite hashbrown mirrors that of that most high school perspective on relationships: if you let something go and it comes back to you, it was meant to be. By that logic, Cole – at an improbably young age – has already participated in a decidedly more off-and-on relationship than I did, and believe me – that really is saying something.

Cole’s favorite television show is Wheel of Fortune. He doesn’t actually like to watch the show, though. His favorite part of the show is the introduction with the PA announcer building up to introduce Pat and Vanna. At some point, the live audience (or canned applause) hits, and Cole just can’t help himself. He claps along feverishly, as if he believes he must participate with the studio audience, as if this is the best thing he’s seen in his life, as if he’s compelled from on high to behave in exactly this manner. Who knows? All three might be true.

34Avery’s new deal is climbing over the back of the couch and reaching into the bookshelf to retrieve her books. She’s actually made it all the way over – there’s an ottoman with blankets atop it back there – when no was was watching her closely enough. Avery, of course, can’t read yet, but reading doesn’t really seem to be the point of her activity. No, as near as I can tell, her objective is simply to pull as many books as possible and cover the couch with them, assuring that someone will have to put them all back at the end of the night. “Why don’t we put these where she can’t reach them?” I asked aloud. [Side Question: If a husband asks her wife a question, but she does not acknowledge him at all, did he really as a question?] Perhaps due to Avery’s recent frequency atop the couch, Lynnette’s taken to referring to her as “Abby” whenever calling her name out loud. Just now, Avery was gnawing on the tv stand and Lynnette shouted “Abby! Abby! Avery!” To be fair, the third try is perfectly acceptable. Honestly, though, at this point Lynnette should just adopt my father’s foolproof method of calling his sons. He simply walked into a room and uttered “Hey.” We all looked and he pointed at the one or two or three he needed to address. No confusion at all.

Cole loved being tossed into the air from the very first time I did it. Avery always wore an expression of concern. It’s the same face Madison made on the way down riding the Pharaoh’s Fury. Anyway, I’ve discovered that while Avery doesn’t care for being tossed up in the air, she gets a huge kick out of being tilted upside down. If she’s really into it, she starts laughing as soon as she I start leaning her backwards. She cackles with glee when upside down, then jerks her head back when I lift her right-side up. She might grow up to be a daredevil like Madison was before she fell off those monkeybars  in Manoa.


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