Spring Break Hangover

As hard as it was to wake up to my work alarm on Tuesday morning, it was even harder on Wednesday and today. Tuesday was the first day back from spring break and by noon I was yawning and saying things like “Oh boy, this is long day!” and “Oh man, I’ve already been up for such a long time!” If you didn’t have a spring break and feel like swearing at me, go for it. I deserve it.

2Spring break was marred slightly by Cole’s illness. He caught a fever which was followed immediately by roseola. Then, to top it off, he broke out in hives for three days. Lynnette and I wracked our brains trying to figure out what it was that Cole might be allergic to – until we called Cole’s doctor who assured us that hives is sometimes a features of Cole Boy’s particular sickness. Sure enough, the whole thing cleared up by the weekend.

Whenever I spend an extended amount of time with the kids I am reminded that in my heart I just want to be a stay-at-home dad. This time was no different. The twins are reaching an age where they can interact with me, sort of. Cole finds me once a day for play time. I never know when this will be, but it’s pretty awesome. I am often strewn about the couch watching tv or running my phone’s battery down, and Cole will decide he wants to play. He lets me know by climbing on the couch and diving into me or walking up to me, banging on my chest and shouting “Da-da!” Not subtle, but effective. Our playtime usually consists of me tickling him or flipping him upside down or both. Sometimes we’ll have a staring contest that he always loses because he just wants to laugh and stick his big toe into my ear. 16 months is a simple age.

Avery, on the other hand, is still very much a maverick. She’s close with Lynnette and will often dive into Lynnette’s chest while employing a fake scream/whine. I have never heard the mythical sirens’ song, but I imagine Avery’s fake scream/whine is the polar opposite of it. With me, though, Avery only plays two games. The first is an old favorite: Pinch Daddy’s Nipples. As the name of this game is self-explanatory, I will not go into its rules. The second is Crocodile Rolls. This is the game that Avery plays with every member of the household – including Abby. It requires a member of the family to be resting – conscious or not – peacefully on the couch. Avery will then climb up onto the couch, back her diapered ass into our face, then roll over repeatedly. I know that Troll Rolls rhymes and therefore sounds better, but the first time I saw Avery do this, I immediately though of this.

1On Monday, that final day of spring break, Lynnette took the kids out of the house so I could complete my grading for the third quarter. Yes, procrastination is a lifestyle and I am so about that life. Anyway, as I was plowing away at Heart of Darkness essays, I got a message from a  former student who works the Easter Bunny stand at the mall. She told me she saw Lynnette and the kids. She also told me to head over for pictures with the bunny.

Believe it or not, this is the first ever holiday mall picture our family has ever taken. The fact that no one is crying makes the photo great. Avery’s belly makes the photo spectacular. The girls working the Easter Bunny stand were great – right up until they were very liberal with the jelly beans. “They said I could take as many as I wanted,” Madison said when she got home, trying to deflect blame. When I asked my former students about it, they only laughed. Even they were amused and shocked by how brazen Madison was in hoarding the jelly beans. Thank you, Melina and Jordan, for taking care of my family, but not my family’s teeth.

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