9 and 37

Madison and I had a wonderful birthday.

2Lynnette was a one-woman birthday part committee yesterday and started the morning by driving off to procure some Koa Pancake House for breakfast. I shared my strawberry crepes with Avery and Cole who both seemed to prefer their usual Cocoa Puffs and fruit. I tried not to overeat because I knew we were headed to 100 Sails for dinner. I don’t know if I can call that discipline if the only reason I was disciplined was so that I could be undisciplined later.

1This ended up being the picture of the day. Madison wanted to go to iTrampoline for her birthday, so that’s what we did. Lynnette took the twins on a couple of errands while Mad and I (mostly Madison) bounced for an hour. When Lynnette popped in with the twins, she stood with Avery in front of an industrial fan. So good!

I’m so proud of Madison. The first two times we went to iTrampline she was hesitant, probably because she was too young to try anything risky. Also, I don’t remember that they had this airbag the last time we were there. It instantly became Mad’s favorite area of the warehouse. You can see in the first couple of tries how her body simply won’t let her flip. But once she finally gets it, it’s easy. As for me, I spent less than five minutes actively bouncing. I could feel the strain on my knees and ankles as they tried to compensate for the momentum added to my already inconvenient weight. I stand by my decision; EMTs actually showed up for an adult who had injured her leg. Athlete Phil (who is caged deep inside of me alongside Party Phil) always thinks he can do whatever he wants. 37-year old Phil knows better.

3My family hooked me up with a Food Saver for my birthday. I’m pretty excited. I’ll probably get some steaks to marinate this afternoon so I have dinner for tomorrow night. Madison made me a special birthday card that was supposed to be a “howler” – those talking cards from the Harry Potter series. It was pretty cool. “I made that in February,” she told me when I thanked her for it. I wanted to make a comment about approaching her school work with such foresight and enthusiasm but, eh, it was her birthday, too.

5I didn’t eat for 7 hours in anticipation of dinner and my performance was disappointing. By my estimate, I ate 6 crab legs, 12 pieces of ahi nigiri, 15 pieces of ahi sashimi, and 6 handrolls. Obviously, I ate my money’s worth, but I was stunned at how quickly I began to slow down. There was a point in the middle of our third servings when Lynnette and I looked at each other. “I think this is it,” I said. “Me too,” she said. “This is terrible!” I said. If gaining weight by eating less food is what it means to get older, I don’t want it. Speaking of getting older…

6There was a prom happening ont he same floor as the restaurant. Lynnette told me that she had the following conversation with Madison on their way to the bathroom.

“What’s a prom?” Madison asked.
“It’s a party for high schoolers,” Lynnette said.
“What is it for?” Madison asked.
“So they can eat and sing and dance and have a good time with their friends,” Lynnette said.

When we got back to the van, Madison said that Lynnette told her the cops were at the prom to make sure no one drinks alcohol or makes out.

“What’s making out?” I asked.
“It’s when people kiss like you and mom,” Mad said.
“Oh. How did you learn about making out?” I asked.”
Law and Order,” Madison said.

I laughed so hard and for so long I was legitimately afraid I would throw up.


Thank you for all the birthday wishes! Madison and I had a great day.

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