A Lynnette Appreciation Post

Lynnette and I have been together since 2003. Our relationship is a couple of years into puberty and so like sometimes when we look at each other, we can just be all “whatevers”. But Lynnette’s been feeling herself recently and when I pull my eyes away from legendary Pokemon long enough, even my eyes – stained with the lenses of familiarity – Β can see that she’s straight fire right now.



“Smile,” I said at a stoplight. She turned and tossed me one of these. “So fake! I said. “What?” she said, cocking her neck back to feign shock. “That’s your fake smile,” I said. I shook my head. “That’s the smile you use for standard family photos, or if someone randomly asks you take a picture,” I said. She began to laugh wildly. “Not even!” she said through her laughter. “C’mon, mom!” Madison shouted from the back seat. She composed herself and I asked her to smile again. This is what she did instead:


“No, for real!”

She’s got eyebrows now. She’s eating better. She’s registered herself for the Makahiki Challenge in December. “I signed up before I looked at the pictures,” she said. “So what? You bite off more than you can chew?” I asked. “Maybe,” she said. But she’s got this.

There’s a lot about Lynnette I don’t and can’t understand. Case in point: When Lynnette drives, she only uses her blinker to change lanes just as she’s about to change lanes, never to declare her intentions. Today, she was trying to get over one lane to her right. Her left hand was poised on the blinker. But she didn’t use it. “Is this guy gonna let me in or what?” she muttered as she glanced at the side view mirror. “HOW IS HE SUPPOSED TO KNOW TO LET YOU IN IF YOU DON’T HAVE YOUR BLINKER ON?!” My hands hung about my head like that Jackie Chan meme. “Philip…” she said as she began to slide into the next lane, just then flashing her blinker, then turning it off.

There are other things I don’t understand either. She’s a doer and a go-getter; I am not. That’s how I know she’s going to emerge from the Makahiki Challenge victorious. Filty and sore, but victorious. Once she puts her mind to something, she just bangs it out. She carried three kids and ate ice chips for three days to birth the last two. Today, she drove me around to look for Zapdos and only rolled her eyes 40 times. She routinely does the amazing.

You totally deserve that tiramisu you’re inhaling right now – that and so much more. Thank you for being the (hot) glue of our family.


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