Thoughts on The Last Jedi

The original Star Wars trilogy is set a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. In 2017, those modifiers contextualizing time and space apply just as well to the creation of the original Star Wars, and that’s the problem. The Last Jedi tasks itself with the unenviable job of unmooring itself from the baggage of the original trilogy, which began 40 years ago. It performs this task with a kind of arrogance (and though I haven’t seen anyone call it that) that has sparked criticism from self-professed longtime Star Wars fans.

***SPOILERS***

I wrote the paragraph above on Saturday morning when I intended to post a full write-up of The Last Jedi, but I don’t think I can do it. My thoughts took a turn over the weekend as I prowled social media sites to find there are 3 general responses to The Last Jedi: unconditional love, a kind of nameless ambivalence, and unadulterated hatred. I’m not good enough to organize my thoughts on a single viewing (I already tried twice), so instead I’m going to work exclusively from the premise that the movie’s real problem isn’t actually anything in the movie itself, but rather the way time works.

  1. The First Star Wars movie came out in 1977 and the subsequent films in that trilogy released 3 and 6 years later, respectively. And then The Phantom Menace was released in 1999.
  2. In that time between 1983 and 1999, the primary avenue to any “new” Star Wars information and stories came in the form of the novels that comprised the Extended Universe.
  3. Upon the advent of the internet, all of that information and those stories were organized, curated, and posted online for all to read. *Do not click that link unless you want to lose 90 minutes of your time*
  4. Over time, this information became a kind of institutional knowledge that became inseparable from the characters and events of the original trilogy. I mean, I’m not even a hardcore fan but I know that eventually, Luke Skywalker got married, started a Jedi Academy, and something about endless Palpatine clones. Han and Leia had a kid they named Anakin and a set of twins (Cole and Avery?).
  5. The unintended consequence of this institutional knowledge is that it has warped people’s perception of the original trilogy. For example: Based ONLY on the original trilogy, what do you know about Boba Fett? Mon Mothma? Admiral Ackbar? What is a Mandalorian? What are the Jedi Trials? How does a Jedi create his own light saber? So much of what we consider Star Wars lore isn’t actually from the original trilogy. It’s actually from a bunch of different sources which have coalesced over time.

TL;DR – The original trilogy isn’t what we think it is, especially in terms of storytelling and scope, but it biases our view of everything related to it, anyway.

In 2017, we no longer have to wait so long for new Star Wars content. If Disney has its way, we’ll get a movie every year. Starved fans are finally being overserved. We’re getting what we wanted, only not the way we wanted it. Well, that’s the problem, right? That the galaxy from a long time ago and far, far away hits a little too close to home.

5I’ve read many complaints in particular regarding the way The Last Jedi portrays Luke Skywalker. I thought it was the single most interesting feature of the movie. We understand his failing, we understand why he’s in exile (it’s simply what failed Jedi do, baby), and best of all – he has the same concerns I do. How did the Sith rise to dominance when the Jedi were at the height of their strength? Was the idea of Luke Skywalker ever an accurate presentation of who he actually was (I’ve argued for years that the answer is a redounding “NO”)? What is the point of anything if it always ends the same way or if it never ends?

The Luke Skywalker problem is the microcosm of issue mentioned a paragraph ago: it would be great to get more Luke Skywalker, but only a certain version of him, the version that’s forever the hero and galaxy’s savior. Maybe that’s not true. Maybe people simply wanted the Luke stories they read in the Extended Universe. But really, that was always going to be impossible. Luke Skywalker is a fictional character. Mark Hamill is a 66-year old human being. Neither was going to last forever, at least not in the only way we’ve ever known them.

For so long, Luke Skywalker, his father, his sister, and all of his friends had been frozen in time on VHS and Betamax, then DVD, and finally Blu-Ray. Some 30 years later they returned to life and somehow they’re supposed to be exactly the same as we remember them? That would necessitate a deeper suspension of disbelief than the one required to accept an entire universe predicated on the existence of an all-encompassing deus ex machina called “the Force”.

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Isa Christmas Party 2017

Each year, our extended family get together for a Christmas party. The highlight is catching up with family I don’t see very often (everyone’s pregnant or has new kids!) but a close second is the kids’ gift giving. Every year, someone dresses as Santa and has the job of handing out gifts to all of the kids who haven’t graduated from high school yet. Every year, I can’t wait to see how Cole and Avery are going to handle Santa.

1Madison expressed some apprehension as we waited for Santa to arrive in the middle of the banquet room. “I feel like the oldest kid here,” she said as she motioned toward the other children waiting. “You’re only in the 4th grade.” I said. I shook my head. “You have like 9 more years of this.” “Really?” she said. This seemed to calm her a little.

Well, Santa must have felt that Madison’s been good this year because he got her a glitter slime starter kit. If Santa stuck around, I might have a few words with him because I hate glitter and have forbidden it from this house. But Santa’s particularly busy this time of year so I let it slide. I won’t let it slide if I find glitter all over the place, though.

2I knew Cole wasn’t going to like Santa from the start. When Santa arrived to the chorus of “Jingle Bells”, I tried to lift Cole’s arm so as to wave at Santa, but Cole quickly pulled it away. “But that’s Santa!” I said. “No no!” he said. Guess whose name was the very first called? That’s right, the universe has a sick, sick sense of humor. I got him up and carried him with me and his protests grew louder and stronger the closer we got to Santa. Just look at his technique: Cole shields his eyes so he doesn’t have to look at Santa. Next, he arches his back and lifts his arms so as to remain as far from Santa as possible. Finally, Cole’s got his feet and legs wrapped around mine so I can’t swing him away from my body to sit him on Santa’s lap. Textbook all around, boy.

3Avery wasn’t quite in Santa’s area when her name was called. She emerged with Lynnette from the back of the room and people clapped as they approached. I assume it was a collective adult attempt to prevent a kid from crying. It worked. Avery got caught up in the moment and started clapping herself. She didn’t cry or throw a fit like Cole, but when Lynnette leaned in to possibly, maybe juuust try to give Avery to Santa, Avery balked and turned the other way, back into Lynnette. Oh well.

Santa got both Cole and Avery Mickey and Minnie Mouse race cars and a pack of yogurt melts each. Wanna guess which one they were more excited about? I’ll give you a hint: you can’t eat the Mickey/Minnie Mouse racers (even if Avery will try her damnedest).

4The only thing I have on my wish list for Christmas is to be able to spend more time with Lynnette. I feel like I make this wish every year, but that’s how it goes. I’ve started staying late after work – like I did before the twins were born – in order to get work done, so I see less of them, but Lynnette in particular. Yesterday, Lynnette ran the Makahiki at Kualoa Ranch so we all missed her while we went playground and Pokemon hunting. But from the pictures I’ve seen, it looks like it was worth it.

I made it a point to get a photo of just the two of us before we left the party today because we never got around to getting some during our Christmas card photo shoot. And then Avery ran right into the shot, which is just perfect.

The 2017 Inductees to the Higa Christmas Tree

We put the tree up last weekend, but didn’t have the chance to pick out new ornaments, as per our holiday tradition. We finally picked some new ones out Saturday and I am glad to announce their inclusion to the Higa Christmas Tree.

1First, let’s just address the elephant in the room. Yes, these three ornaments will be affixed to the tree by paper clips. Lynnette informed me that she returned the hooks to the ornament box…which lives downstairs in the garage. So. That wasn’t happening again.

Anyway, this is the third year Lynnette’s opted for an ornament featuring three penguin children playing together. As I look at this year’s ornament, I assume Cole is the penguin on the right because of the blue cap. That means Madison is the penguin on the left wearing the purple scarf because Madison is the queen of wearing unnecessary clothes and also Avery has to be the one in the train because she’s the queen of being places she doesn’t belong. Like atop the entertainment unit, right now, banging the glass door. Hold on.

2Madison selected this Minnie and Mickey Mouse ornament with a lever that allows Mickey to pop out from the inside of the snowmouse. I guess Madison’s now at the age where gimmicky ornaments seem like a pretty cool thing. If you’re wondering why she didn’t pick on that lights up or makes music, it’s because her dad is now at that age where he’s not going to spend $30 on an ornament. She looked around for a while before settling on this. We even popped into the Disney Store today to see if they had something there she might like instead, but she couldn’t find anything else. I totally relate because this was one of those years when I had a little trouble picking mine out, too.

3I went with this Soundwave ornament. It’s a display version because all the deadstock ones were sold out. Soundwave joins Optimus Prime and Megatron in my G1 Transformer Christmas Ornament Collection. Sadly, this ornament did not come with the bonus Laserbeak, Rumble, Ravage, Frenzy, or Ratbat cassette ornaments. Huge oversight by Hallmark. Anyway,  I missed out on Grimlock last year because Hallmark released Tony Romo as well, so that was a no-brainer. I’ve been trying to find the Grimlock in other places online, but they’re a little more expensive than I can stomach right now. Maybe later. For now, I can only hope for a Met or Cowboy next year, or maybe some super cool Star Wars character from The Last Jedi. 

4Beyond our fulfilling our Christmas tradition today, we also went Christmas shopping. I have to shout out the twins on being mostly well-behaved today. They didn’t run away, roll around in the fake grass, or stick their hands and arms into the fish water. They sat and ate patiently during lunch, and they kept the mess to a minimum, which is basically all you can ask. Also big ups to Lynnette who was even more alluring than usual today. I couldn’t quite put my finger on why, but it might have had something to do with her new sunglasses that give her a kick-ass-Linda-Hamilton-in-Terminator-2-Judgment-Day kind of vibe. That’s hot. I dig that. It might also have been the fact that she drove me through Kakaako and downtown so I could look for new Pokemon. That’s love, baby.

Life isn’t a Highway, It’s a Race Track

***SPOILERS***

I saw the teaser trailer for Cars 3 months ago. It hinted at Lightning McQueen getting into a wreck and raised questions regarding the possibility that he would ever be the same again. I immediately recognized the parallel to McQueen’s mentor, Doc Hudson, and thought it was probably a good idea to circle back from the Mater-centric story of the second film in the series. Cars 2 failed to maintain the spirit or feel of the first movie, opting to remove the characters from quaint Radiator Springs in order to transport them to the world stage. It also shifted focus away from McQueen to Mater in a pseudo-spy storyline that somehow tried to teach the lesson that it is OK to be who you are and that pretending to be something you aren’t will lead to problems and unintended consequences that will likely become problems. That’s great, but I’d rather watch that exact plot and that exact theme as performed by Daniel Craig.

Cars 3 introduces Jackson Storm to the universe of the story. He’s a Piston Cup rookie with a noticeably sleeker profile than McQueen’s and he stands out because he’s faster than everyone else. The first laugh-out-loud moment for me came when the film broke away to a Sports Science-esque segment which used statistics to explain Storm’s incredible performance. He’s fast but he’s also efficient. Frickin’ Pixar fit Moneyball and analytics into a movie featuring a bucktoothed tow truck. Storm is so good that the other race companies begin to employ more cars just like him and all of McQueen’s contemporaries slowly retire or fade into obscurity. Lightning the last of a dying breed and he almost kills himself trying to catch Storm.

636327385871672961-CARS-3-a025-209bcs.sel16.245-RGBBut Jackson Storm is not McQueen’s antagonist in the way that Chick Hicks and Francesco Burnoulli were. Storm is just a symbol for the passing of time. He’s the hotshot rookie from out of nowhere come to take the racing world by…storm. He’s Lightning McQueen’s Lightning McQueen because that’s how time works.

What follows in the movie is an amalgam of sports movie cliches. McQueen has existential doubts about his ability to race at an elite level. He tries new, scientific training methods that are alien to him. There’s beach race scene that I immediately recognized as an homage to the Rocky/Apollo race in Rocky III. They even got the same colors in there. There are conversations about McQueen possibly retiring to become a spokesperson. As a point of comparison, McQueen’s old rival Chick Hicks has found a second act as the host of a racing show. I couldn’t tell if he’d changed his last name to “Bayless”.

That’s what Cars 3 is about: facing down mortality. The middle third of the film leans on McQueen’s stubborn refusal to accept something everyone else already knows: it isn’t physically possible for him to catch Storm. I could see the the plot twist coming – that McQueen would become someone else’s Doc Hudson – but I didn’t actually believe it would happen. Why would Disney/Pixar effectively demote the protagonist of a successful movie franchise when they didn’t have to? The cynic in me says “to sell more toys to a younger generation that isn’t familiar with the original film, of course.” I recall The Force Awakens and my beloved Optimus Prime’s death and subsequent replacement by Hot Rod (I hate you, Hot Rod!), the Autobot at least partially responsible for his demise. I hate you so much, Hot Rod. It’s probably that. But is a part of me bummed out that the writers of them film opted for realism rather than some kind of escapist, gimmicky come-from-behind victory for McQueen? Yeah. And it’s not even a part of me. It’s all of me.

IMG_4399I’m biased, though. Cars 3, is an animated film. The franchise doesn’t have to age if it doesn’t want to. That’s not a choice I have; they made the choice I wouldn’t have made. McQueen’s acceptance of his diminished skills made me wonder: Cars 3 is for adults, right? How could kids make all these connections when they’ve only ever been young?


When I pointed out the use of stats, science and analytics early in the film, Madison asked about them.

“What’s that?” she said.
“Those are things people use in sports now, to measure how good someone is, or when they try to figure out how to win,” I said.
“Oh,” she said.
“Yeah, what this movie is about is how people get old and are replaced by younger racers. Remember how McQueen was better than the King and Chick Hicks in the first one? Now it’s happening to McQueen. It’s succession mythology. Do you get it?” I said.
“Yeah. It’s just like technology,” she said.
“YES. Explain what you mean,” I said, all English teacher-y.
“Whenever technology gets better it replaces the old stuff,” she said.
“EXACTLY!” I said.
I raised both hands.
“It’s like your iPad,” I said, raising my right hand slightly. “And my iPad,” I said, raising my left hand much higher.
She cocked her head forward and dropped a patented Phil Higa smirk. Her iPad is pretty old. But we haven’t replaced it. BUT SHE RECOGNIZED A THEME AND BUILT AN APPROPRIATE METAPHOR! LOOK WHAT I HAVE CREATED!

And this is my second act. To impart knowledge. To teach. To raise my kids. I’ve known this since at least 2009, but accepting, making peace with it has been another matter entirely. I still struggle with it, trying to find a balance between what I want and what Madison, Cole, and Avery need. And because I am a selfish, ego-centric human being, this second act can never feel as important or fulfilling as my first. There’s so much that can go sideways at anytime. Parenthood is never portrayed as anything but staid and mundane, but in certain ways, it promises to be the most tumultuous experience of my lifetime. It is good to be reminded of this – even if via an animated film – when life feels so much like speeding through laps on the same track over and over again.

Signs of the Christmas Spirit Have Made Themselves Known

You ever have one of those days that start out so lazily and slowly that any kind of physical activity or accomplishment – no matter how minor – seem like majestic feats of productivity? Well, if you do, then you know exactly how my Sunday went. I slept in because I went out last night but more importantly because Lynnette let me. Big ups to Lynnette! We lucked out with the weather today because we scheduled Christmas card photos at noon-one and that worked out, too. Before all that, though, I spent the morning squinting at the television watching NFL Redzone.

5I was in the middle of an afternoon nap when Lynnette brought up the idea of setting the Christmas tree. I made some kind of comment about waiting until later in the afternoon so I could vacuum first (true) and some concerns about Cole and Avery’s interaction with the tree (very true). But 15 minutes later I came to the conclusion that if we didn’t set the tree up today, we’d probably put it off until next weekend, and maybe something comes up and it doesn’t work out so maybe our tree is only up for a couple of weeks and then that’s just a poor job of Christmasing, so you have to strike while the iron is hot before that ship sails. Incidentally, this is also the exact approach you have to take toward Mommy/Daddy special time when you have three kids. Bang that iron. Don’t let no ships sail. Word.

423ANYWAY, initially, it was all Mad and Lynnette, the Holiday Monger herself putting together the tree. Cole soon saw all of the pieces lying in the living room and behaved the same way he always does when he encounters something interesting for the first time: point and shout at it, then try to pick it up. He watched Mad and the Holiday Monger erect the first 2/3 of the tree and then tried to lift the final piece to give to them. He’s been pretty helpful recently; he’s been throwing things away and helping me load the washing machine. I’m cherishing this behavior this time because I took it for granted with Madison. Now she can’t help either of us out without an eye roll and/or sigh and/or growl and/or sarcastic reply. I feel like Victor Frankenstein must have felt when he finally understood realized that the thing he had brought to life was going to murder all the things he loved. But I digress.

Avery was surprisingly uninterested in the Christmas tree. She opted instead to get into some trouble while everyone else was distracted. Clever Girl. But she’s since taken to slowly prowling around the tree and removing ornaments then running off with them. She returns the ornament to the tree if Lynnette is or I am watching her and guilt-tripping her. We’re bound to find broken ornaments under the couch and some point. Or in Avery’s mouth.

The tree lights on are and neither of the twins is bothering the tree but I will not underestimate their destructive power. I don’t think we’ll be placing any gifts under the tree until much closer to Christmas. I have a feeling that Cole and Avery won’t be able to resist the temptation to throw or kick or stand on or bite or eat or kick or rip such easy targets.

1I want to thank Jaren, a former student, for taking our Christmas photos for at least the third time. They look great. Best of all, neither Cole or Avery accomplished their goal of jumping off of the cliff into the water below. It wasn’t for not trying, though.

Black Friday 2017: The World Before Kids

1Thursday, 3:00 PM

Lynnette dropped me off at the Mililani Walmart at 3, just after a delicious Thanksgiving lunch with my family at my parents’ house. The only thing I really cared about was getting a new phone. The offer was a $300 gift card with the purchase and activation of a new phone. I was eventually going to do that anyway, so I might as well get the free $300, right? I ended up being the first person in line. About 10 minutes into waiting, an associate announced that they did not have the iPhone X in stock. “Oh,” I said. But it was just as well. Yes, I showed up to Walmart hoping to score the iPhone X, but I had been internally struggling with this decision for sometime. The 8 is significantly cheaper and also it’s literally called the “8”. That is huge. Anyway, this stocking issue made it so that I didn’t have choose at all, which is great because traditionally, historically, I don’t make great choices in matters like these.

2Thursday, 8 PM

I returned to Walmart – this time with Lynnette and her cousins Charleigh and Jenn – after a delicious Thanksgiving dinner at Lynnette’s parents’ house (I made an appointment at 6 PM to buy the phone later in the evening so that I could have dinner with the family). It was then that we started shopping for our friends and family and, yeah, okay, also ourselves. But, but, but, Walmart paid for our Christmas shopping this year because of the aforementioned phone deal. I don’t always make smart decisions but when I do I end up saving a bunch of money on Christmas shopping and/or marrying a beautiful, intelligent women several leagues beyond my depth.

3Friday, 8:30 AM

Lynnette’s parents (Side bar: Lynnette’s parents just returned from the Philippines and they brought us back a bunch of goodies. Among them were not a small amount of bras and panties for Madison. “It’s a family tradition,” Lynnette said, trying to calm me. “Back when we were kids, whenever someone in our family went to the Philippines, they brought back bras and Soen brand panties for the girls. We would all have Soen panties for years after that,” she said. Since none of my relatives have ever visited the Philippines and I don’t have any sisters, I had no choice but to take Lynnette’s word for it. “Look, dad,” Madison said, holding up one of the bras. Curiously, Snoopy was embroidered on the left cup. “It’s the hook kind!” she shouted. I don’t know what the sound of my heart shattering is because Lynnette always laughs too loudly when it happens) came over to watch the kids while we shopped.

4Friday, 10:30 AM

“Hmm,” I said. “What’s that?” Lynnette asked while rooting through shoes at Cole Haan. “I’ve been looking around the store and it seems like a certain kind of woman shops here,” I said. She smirked. “What kind of woman is that?” she asked. “It seems as if it is the motherly type of woman who is a stylish professional,” I said. “Oh, yeah?” Lynnette said without looking up. “Yes, it is a very distinct demographic: elegant, urbane, sophisticated,” I continued. I would continue with variations of this joke the entire day. Lynnette played along the entire day. When we passed a mile-long line consisting of girls aged 13-18 outside of Brandy Melville, I noted that I hadn’t seen any females like that in Cole Haan. “No, we did not,” Lynnette said. “They are obviously not yet working professionals who value comfort over trends,” she said. She was right. And she’s the best.

5Friday, 12:30 PM

We stopped off at Alicia’s Market to pick up lunch for us and Lynnette’s parents. I cannot recommend Alicia’s enough. I had enough food for two meals which means I also get to eat Thanksgiving leftovers tomorrow without feeling like I’ve been eating the same food for three straight days.

Spending the day with Lynnette was a special gift. It happens so rarely now that we can just kind of move at a measured pace without worrying about our kids running off or tearing apart retail displays. The best part was walking slowly through the mall holding hands. I can’t remember the last time we did that. Thanks for that, Mom and Dad Pascua.

We hope you are having a great Thanksgiving weekend! We hope to see you out this holiday season!
6

Mem’s Pre-School

Note: I was blown away by the outpouring of love and support for this blog. I wasn’t expecting all the kind words and well-wishes. I didn’t even know that some of you followed along! Your notes touched me deeply. Thank you.

Lynnette’s parents are on a trip so Lynnette’s been home with the twins for the better part of two weeks. She dubbed this period “Mem’s Pre-School” before it even started. She’s been sending me messages and photos in regards to their activities. I’ve collected some of them here and will also post both Cole’s and Avery’s reviews of Mem’s Pre-School. It should be said: Mrs. Mem, the principal, teacher, chef, and dean of the school, is this week’s outstanding educator displaying school spirit and personal pride.

School: Mem’s Pre-School
Location: Mililani
Mascot: Elmos
School Song: “Happy Birthday”
Motto: Thank God They Aren’t Triplets

IMG_4226Sensory Play: (Play-doh) Lynnette concocted homemade play-doh that’s about 150 times more effective than any of Madison’s homemade slime. She made a small amount for each of the twins to roll, knead, and handle.

Avery’s Review: I cannot believe Mem actually let me play with something that does not belong to me! It was so nice to squeeze the green, but I don’t like for my hands to get dirty. I like the green because it strengthens my hand and arms muscles so I can open and shut the kitchen cabinets faster and harder than ever before! I also like to put some green in Abby’s fur! But how come Mem won’t let me eat the green?

IMG_4232Emergency Preparedness: Lynnette simulated a high-danger, high-tension situation in order to teach the twins valuable lessons in responsibility, problem-solving, and making sure you know where the house keys are.

Cole’s Review: Everyone makes mistakes. You can’t just leave a naturally curious child such as myself alone on a stairway and not expect me to explore my surroundings  – especially shiny knick-knacks that make click-clack noises. I’m just like daddy: I know how to work things, but now how they work. It’s his fault. Thank God I had my Nanny. Oh, and this Emergency Preparedness was junk.

IMG_4230Physical Education (climbing): As part of a well-rounded education, Lynnette built her curriculum to include physical tests of strength, speed, and athleticism.

Avery’s Review: Because I am cute and the baby and Mem loves me the most of all the people and dogs living in this house, I can get away with things they cannot. Daddy and Cole and Madison and Abby are not allowed to climb on counters but I can. What I like to do is tippy-toe to see what I want on a counter, then I pull myself up and grab the what I want with my grubby paws. Two days ago Daddy was getting ready for work but could not find his hair product. He wasted 5 minutes looking around for it and it was probably under the couch covered in saliva and dog fur! Tee-hee! He probably even got stuck in traffic. Daddy is the best. After Mem.

IMG_4238Role Play: Lynnette likes to have the twins role play to develop their social skills. Because of the numerous birthday celebrations this past week, Cole now associates anything with frosting  – cupcakes, cakes, doughnuts – with birthdays. How do we know? Because as soon as he sees a qualifying item, he starts pointing and saying “haburday”. Apparently, Cole was role playing singing happy birthday to me through my ’17 AP Lit shirt.

Cole’s Review: haburday, haburday, haburday, haburday, haburday, haburday, haburday, haburday, haburday.

IMG_4236Physical Education (cheer): Madison owns one purple pom-pom and one gold-pom-pom from when she used to bring them to the stadium during Damien games. Cole and Avery were tasked to come up with cheers and choreography in support of Damien, playing in the D1 State Championship game this Saturday.

Cole’s review: *to the tune of Bruno Mars’ “That’s What I Like”* White jerseys fitted just right / Championship game under lights / Lucky for you, that’s what I like / Lucky for you, that’s what I like / That mauve and gold gleams so bright / Oh, what a glorious sight / Lucky for you, that’s what I like/ Lucky for you, that’s what I like.

IMG_4237Music: I would pay any amount of money for Avery to never slam another cabinet door.

Avery’s Review: Mem went to Costco and bought new batteries because Daddy forgot and Mem put the new batteries inside of the DJ station because I LOVE MAKING LOUD NOISES. But when Daddy comes home I put away the DJ station so that I cannot bang it and I have an excuse to bang the drawers and cabinets. Also, Mem is home so she can protect me from Daddy who is mean because he tries to take me away from the cabinets which is just mean because I would never take Daddy away from something he loves by forcing her to sleep in my room every night preventing Daddy from sleeping in the same room as Mem since August. Because that would be mean. Tee-hee.

IMG_4239Driver’s Education: On the real, Madison is 9 and Lynnette have I have had preliminary talks about teaching her to drive that have gone like this:

Lynnette: I think you should teach her to drive.
Me: Me? Why?
Lynnette: You’re a teacher. You’d be better at it.
Me: But you’d never admit I’m better at you in anything unless is something you don’t care about or don’t want to do.
Lynnette: That’s right.

Cole’s Review: I like to climb around in the van and press all the buttons. Sometimes I stand in the driver’s seat and drool all over it and the steering wheel. Dad hates that. One time, I climbed over the middle seats and sat in the back row and I wouldn’t come out when Mem and Dad called me. Mom had to climb into the van to get me because dad was either too lazy or couldn’t fit and bend his body like that.

Nap time: For some people…

IMG_4234