Commentary “On”

There’s a whole lot going on, though I wouldn’t know it because I’ve been trapped inside my house all week while my daughter says “I hungee!” Just toss an “R” in there somewhere and you get the idea. Anyway, if it weren’t for the internet, I’d have absolutely no idea what the hell is going on in the outside world. Kind of like that time in college when I fell asleep with the curtains closed, didn’t check outside before dressing for class, went with a t-shirt, shorts, and sunglasses, got outside, saw that it was pouring, but had to sack it up because I was already going to be late for class. Good times. Anyway, I have to troll for stuff I’m interested in because other than that, it’s just the Mets.

*Apparently, Megan Fox shant be returning for Transformers 3. I wish I could muster up some kind of speech about how I’m going to miss her, but she didn’t really bring anything to the table. Oh sure, we could debate all day about the merits of her body writhing across a movie theater screen, and while I can’t speak for any other red-blooded American male, I wasn’t really watching the movie for her. No, my heart belongs to a big red semi. Anyway, her name is Rosie Huntington-Whiteley (left, cruising in the Autobot Bentley- little does she know her feminine whiles don’t work on robots), and she is already being called “Shia LeBeouf’s romantic interest,” which is kind of shocking to me considering that when I do pay my $45 dollars to watch this movie, I will not interested in romance at all. Again, there’s something about a truck that transforms into a sensible humanitarian that kind of occupies my attention. Anyway, according to Yahoo!, Rosie has no prior acting credits to her name, though she has appeared on such shows as “Britain’s Next Top Model.” She’s also reported to be dating Jason Statham. Nice job, Turkish. Amidst this rush of information, though, is the news that she has previous experience with Michael Bay. Apparently, he’s directed a Victoria’s Secret commercial. The funny thing is I remember all the VS commercials with scantily-clad women roaming about, but I don’t remember a VS commercial that featured those same scantily-clad women running from gunfire or from large fiery objects falling from the sky. Don’t forget your roots, Bay! Well, Megatron has died twice now, and I hope they don’t consider bringing him back. His character is reaching the legendary come-back-from-the-dead levels reserved only for Jason Voorhees, Michael Myers, and soap opera characters. I wouldn’t mind seeing Ultra Magnus and Hot Rod- provided of course that neither serves as the heir-apparent to Optimus Prime. I already lived through that crap of a storyline once (even if it was animated) and I don’t know if I could deal with that again.

*Just finished season 3 of Mad Men and I can’t get over how well done the show is. There are only three TV shows in recent memory that made me care about what happens to most of the characters: The Wire, Lost, and Mad Men. That’s it. Since the show is set in the late-50s/early-60s, they’ve got a great opportunity to make historical allusions (like Marilyn Monroe and JFK), and also for attempts at irony. Season 3 focused on the adjustment period for the Sterling Cooper Ad Agency after being sold to another company. Once they receive word that they are going to be sold again, the three major players (Don Draper, Roger Sterling, and Burt Cooper) conspire with their boss, Lane Pryce to leave Sterling Cooper and start a new company (a t-shirt for the company, left). They take the best talent and/or people with the most existing accounts and leave in secret over the course of a weekend. I have to admit that I was really excited as the pieces started to fall. The picture on the far left is the “office” of Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce and the rest of the staff. I have no idea how this will affect the other characters who worked at the OG Sterling Cooper (will we see less of them?), but I think the idea is fantastic. Most TV shows that go on for several years always run out of story to tell (just ask Lost), but this particular storyline is the best of both worlds- they’ll still be doing the ad work and living that lifestyle (the heart of the show), but it will appear fresh because they’re essentially a start-up now. It’s like starting all over- in season 4! Only not in one of those “we’re-taking-you-back-to-the-start-via-flashback-hope-you-can-follow-along” deals. There’s the rub, though. My wife and I enjoy watching the show by season (it moves slowly sometimes and we can best remember things this way)- we’re always a season behind because we wait for it to be released on Blu-Ray. Every single time I’m slumming around the internet, I avert my eyes at the mere mention of anything closely related to the show. But I’m so excited to see how this all plays out now, I don’t know if I can wait…

*Stephen Strasburg made his debut on Tuesday. Don’t act like you’re not impressed. I won’t go into the legend that is Stephen Strasburg. He can throw 100 MPH and all that. He saved 14 squirrels from a forest fire while barefoot. All of that. I tuned into the MLB Network for what was undoubtedly the most hyped debut by a baseball player I can remember (even Mark Prior wasn’t this big). He was amazing. He was working his 4-seam fastball at 97-99 and more or less maintained his velocity as the game wore on. I feel the need to explain how ridiculous that it. Very few pitchers top out at 99. That was Strasburg’s cruising velocity. He was throwing a sharp, late-breaking “curveball” at 82-83. That’s just not fair. He struck out 14 batters, walked none, and did it on less than 100 pitches. That’s crazy. Strasburg gave up a bomb on a change-up (his third best pitch) and that was about it. The thing that struck me the most was how easily the ball came out of his hand. He doesn’t have one of those max-effort deliveries like K-Rod. The ball just projectile vomits itself out of his hand. He is going to present an odd problem for opposing teams. Since everyone knows that the Nationals are going to handle him with kid gloves, other teams will be tempted to get his pitch count up. Take a few pitches, work the count, etc. The problem is that his stuff is so good that a batter can’t afford to fall behind. The last pitcher I can remember to be this out-and-out dominant was steroid-era Eric Gagne, but he was only doing it for an inning. Strasburg did it for 7. Granted, the Pirates aren’t a great team, but it’s still a line-up of Major Leaguers. The only guys who had success looked like they were guessing. It was like they were looking for a particular pitch in a specific spot. If it wasn’t there, then well, they were going to be beat. During the second time through the line up, he started throwing a 2-seam fastball at 92-94 (!) with tail into righties. If he can master the run on that pitch and turn it over into something closer of a sinker, it might be the most dominant since the steroid-era Kevin Brown’s. As a baseball fan, I’m so excited that Strasburg is happening right now- during a time in my life when I can appreciate how rare his gifts are. As a Mets fan, it depresses me to think that the foreseeable future will be filled with names like Halladay, Nolasco, Johnson, Hanson, and now Strasburg. Ugh.

*A while back, my co-worker (who ironically now lives in Arizona) briefly filled me in on the Arizona immigration law that caused a fervor because of racial implications. Politics and policy aren’t my forum, so I have to admit, I know very little about the law itself. What I do know is that it’s caused all kinds of backlash from citizens and also celebrities. Two of those famous people are Daryl and John Oates, the key members of a little band called… Hall and Oates. I caught a story that said the band would be canceling a show in Phoenix because of their personal stance on the immigration law. In other words, they can’t go for that (no can do). I’m positive someone has already made that joke, but I couldn’t help it. So… I guess it makes me happy to know that Hall and Oates are still touring and belting out their greatest hits. If you look at the picture to the left- the cover for the album H2O, both men are drenched in sweat and staring at each other while their faces are mere inches apart. They’re taking things a little too seriously. It’s awkward and it’s just an album cover. Strangely enough, though, the reason I love the music of Misters Hall and Oates is because I don’t take it seriously at all. They make the best kind of pop music, in my opinion: catchy, easy to relate to, simple, but always with subtle reminders that yes, there is genuine talent at play. Hall and Oates are the musical equivalent of The Shawshank Redemption, High Fidelity, Field of Dreams, and A Few Good Men for me. Any time I happen across those movies on the TV, I watch it. It doesn’t matter what point of the movie I stumbled into. I’ll just watch it until it’s over or something pulls me away from the TV (like a daughter shouting “I hungee!”). If I catch Hall and Oates on the radio, I’ll listen to them. If they pop up on my iPod, I have to think long and hard about jumping past them. They’ve got the best song about not doing an ambiguous something this side of Meat Loaf (“I Can’t Go For That (No Can Do)”). They’ve written about love that is so generic and beautiful it makes me crazy that they ruined it by making it specific by including a woman’s name in it (“Sara Smile”). They own one of the best feel-good songs of all time (“You Make My Dreams (Come True)”). They’ve got a better version of “One on One” than Natty Vibes. And of course, they’ve written one of the greatest audience-participation songs of all-time: “Private Eyes- clap- are watching you- clapclap- they see your every move.” I always say things like “Why don’t more people make music like Hall and Oates?” The truth is, not only would I not like it, I’d probably criticize the hell out of it. There’s only one Hall and Oates. I mean, really, when it comes down to it, what other artists can pull off an album cover like this one?